How much time do you spend waiting? For people, for appointments, for trains, planes or buses. Or maybe you wait for things to get better (or worse), for time to pass, for a lucky break, for the right moment, the right person … for many things.
Some years ago I was late for a business meeting. As I rushed into the room I apologised and thanked him for waiting. His reply stays with me to this day.
“I wasn’t waiting,” he said. “I never wait. I always have something to do. Something to think about, a problem to mull over, an idea to contemplate, reading to catch up. And if I don’t, I just quietly watch the world go by and enjoy the moment.”
Whenever I waited I used to get frustrated with the waste of time or bored with the emptiness. Either that or I’d blame what I was waiting for or blame myself for waiting.
Waiting is a choice
People are late for many reasons.
Trains leave when they leave.
Things will get better (or worse) when they do.
Time will pass with or without me.
I don’t believe in lucky breaks.
The right moment is now and the right person is whoever I’m with.
Nothing and nobody forces me to wait. It’s always a choice I make. I can choose to wait or I can choose to do something (or nothing) and choosing to wait in suffering serves no meaningful purpose.
Waiting is a state of mind.
Waiting is not an activity, not something I do, but a limbo I impose on myself. It’s an artificial construction of my own mind in which I imagine I’m ‘doing’ waiting.
If I can create a waiting state of mind then I can also choose to create the opposite – a ‘not-waiting’ state of mind. It’s easy and anyone can do it just by deciding to.
Catch the thought ‘I’m waiting’ and change it to ‘I’m not waiting’
Waiting is giving away my power
Every minute I wait is a minute I give away to someone or something else. Unless I’m donating it willingly and joyfully it’s a minute I’ve frittered away. It’s not only time I’m giving away, but my power that comes when I take control of my life and responsibility for what I do.
I’m a victim.
Mostly the recipient of this time is completely unaware they’ve received something from me. They didn’t choose it, they didn’t value it, they could do nothing with it. It’s wasted and comes with all the negative energy I’ve attached to it.
When I ‘not-wait’ I take my life in my own hands and there’s no room for blame or resentment or frustration.
Don’t wait for anything
Get creative.
- Think about something. You always have your mind with you, so use it to solve a problem, make a plan or reflect on an experience
- Carry a small notebook with you and write
- Make a call you’ve been meaning to make
- Catch up on some reading
- Leave and go do something
- Enjoy the break and do absolutely nothing
You may just find that when the person or thing you are ‘not-waiting’ for arrives, you welcome it joyfully and enjoy it as an unexpected pleasure.
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Hi Ian,
I love the message of this post. Boredom is something that I have never understood. There is always something to do or learn and for me waiting has never really been an issue. There is always something to observe or do while waiting. Actually, some of the best insights I have had were due to watching people while I waited for someone to show up.
Hope all is awesome!
Ian,
You’re right on – I totally agree.
I took a job once where I had the equivalent of, on average, a three hour commute every day. I had to drive because of lace of public transportation, so I decided to buy books on tape. I actually was fairly proficient in Spanish for a few years because of the commute.
When I was younger, I certainly would’ve just complained away my drive, but I finally figured out what you are saying here – waiting is a choice! I wish I had know you about seven years ago!
Loved this post!
This is a really interesting complement to an article that I read a while ago. It was about “rushing” and how we don’t value our time unless it is someone or something else (like traffic) that we are waiting on…and therefore rushing through.
I like what you’ve said, and I really think it comes down to valuing our time. Because how we spend our time is really how we spend our life.
And no matter what happens, we are always in control of ourselves.
Ian, I love this way of thinking. I was speaking to a friend, who was complaining about the traffic going to work and the amount of traffic Jams there were, I told him I loved traffic jams as it gave me time to listen to my audio books on business and personal development and time to reflect on what I was going to do for the day. It’s amazing how angry people get in traffic jams. Great post Ian.
I hate waiting so I always have something with me that I can work on. Lately I’ve been trying to just sit quietly when I have to wait, but that’s pretty hard for me to do!
Excellent post! I am kind of like your boss – I don’t wait either. On top of that I am never bored. I always have something to think about and keep myself occupied.
I love how you’ve put this…that waiting is a choice…it’s always a choice. I never really thought about it before. The part that struck me in particular was where you pointed out that waiting is giving away your power. This is so true, and hardly ever noticed. I know I’ve never noticed it before, so thank you for bringing it to my attention! No more waiting for me!
I love this post, Ian.
I am not a very patient person. I have often wondered if I have ADHD because I have to be doing something besides idle time means idle hands and thoughts. It is best for me, to have something to do.
I find when I while working, I often start to have thoughts about my next task or appointment before I am finished with the present one. I have driven my car to an appointment, thinking about my presentation only to stop at a traffic signal light and wonder how I got there so fast.
The slowing down to stop and smell the lilacs or roses is my problem but once I do, I think I appreciate it more.
Hi Ian – I just clicked over from Look Far. First visit (I think…although sometimes I do get confused). Nice piece on waiting. I really like how you transform it into something with so much possibility.
Hey Ian, great post. I carry a notebook with article ideas when there’s a chance I’ll be waiting. I’ve actually written some good stuff that way. Always have something worthwhile to listen to while driving. It’s all good!
Most of the time I am being annoyed by my waiting mindset. I fail to catch this thought when I aspire for something. In the process I have wasted my precious time and energy by mulling.
Every moment of our life is a gift. Let’s make the best of it. Waiting does not belong to the present moment.
Thank you to all who left a comment and apologies for not replying individually. I really do value each of your comments but time seems to slip away faster than everything I’m trying to fit in!
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