ROBERT – The road might be long (mine too!) but the scenery is worth the journey.

AMANDA – Exactly! ‘Yes’ opens the door and ‘No’ keeps it firmly shut. I guess we need to use our wisdom to decide which is best for us … and not just make it a blind habit.

LANCE – it means a lot to me to hear that this inspires you. After all the inspiration I get from your writing it’s wonderful for it to be mutual!

ROSS – I know that autopilot well! Mine is in the service of efficiency – but efficiency is rarely the key to a fulfilled life.

JULIET – That speed (the autopilot again) can be quite scary. Thanks for the reminder of the saying!

Thanks for all the comments everyone. I’m a little slow responding right now as I’m on a small island in the North Sea on a Zen/Big Mind retreat with Genpo Roshi. Probably my responses are a bit ‘Zen’ too!

More about that when I return next week! Ian

What a wonderful story. It is amazing how quick we are to say “no” and how much of a difference it makes when we say “yes”. Saying yes can expand our lives greatly.

It makes me think of the saying that it is more likely to be the things you didn’t do, than the things you did, that you will regret.

Juliet

I really like this article, I could totally visualise the entire situation!

I often have automated responses to situations, people peddling stuff in shopping malls drive me crazy for instance! not that we need to say yes to every hair brained scheme, but you’ve touched on something else – we shouldn’t always be on autopilot, saying no without thinking things through or giving things a go.

Have a good week Ian.
-Ross

That we turn away from the less privileged with disdain and dislike is not half as disconcerting to me as the way we respond to and between our own ‘equals’. Lifestyles, especially those in big metros have made us so ‘me, myself and mine’ kind of people that even a smallest entreaty ever receives a spontaneous and stern ‘no’ more often than an yes. As majority of people seem to re-assure themselves that it is the way to be, to live, they normally reconcile to a no even as they begin asking. But even such people will be overwhelmed if an ‘yes’ cam along once in a way, unexpectedly. Two of my colleagues who were in my city had to get back to guest house after a late meeting. They routinely inquired if I had a car. Expecting to be dropped [reluctantly or otherwise] at some close stop, they felt so overwhelmed when I drove them all the way up to the guest house, because they learnt I had taken an almost 180 degree detour.

As you say, its about whether we contend with feeling smaller and smaller or we find the experience of feeling big is rewarding. At least on 7 out of ten instances where I would have said no, I have decided to say yes. The receiver feels gratified contrary to his/her initial perception and I feel good about it. That’s a gain.