I started losing my hair in my late twenties, and for the last 8 years or so I’ve shaved off what’s left. I’d kept it short for several years before, but still it was a bold, bald move.
And as with any bold move there are some great lessons to learn.
Lesson 1- when something is inevitable, there is no real fear
My father is bald on top as were both my grandfathers. For as long as I can remember I told myself it was inevitable I was going to lose my hair naturally and I never feared it. I’m not saying that hair loss IS inevitable – just that in my belief system it was.
Judging by the proliferation of expensive hair loss treatment around, I’m guessing that many men do fear going bald and refuse to accept it as inevitable. That’s fine for them – and maybe these treatments work.
A few things are inevitable, though, no matter how much I want them not to be. For example, I’m going to continue to get older and I will eventually die.
My early acceptance of hair loss was an important lesson than when I accept the inevitability of something – then my fear of it diminishes.
Lesson 2 – the mind is more powerful than genetics (possibly)
I thought (still do!) that my father was a pretty cool guy and I look a lot like him. My slightly younger brother, on the other hand, has a full head of hair. I suspect that my acceptance of fate was more powerful than the genetic cause of my hair loss.
I have no doubt that we largely create (or at least influence) our reality through the power of our minds. Accepting baldness may well have become a self-fulfilling prophecy, so I’m very careful these days about what I accept as truth.
Lesson 3 – simplicity saves time and money
I used to detest going to the barber and paying someone to cut my hair. I just can’t stand strangers touching my head. I know many people love having their hair pampered at the salon – but that was never my scene at all.
When I was growing up my mother used to cut it (think ‘bowl cut’ aka ‘mushroom head’ aka ‘The Spock look’) and that was fine until I left home.
Now I can do it myself, anytime, anyplace. Or sometimes Mona does it, which is a very intimate pleasure.
This was the first step I took towards a simple life style – and the same virtues are true of simplicity wherever you find it. It saves a lot of time and there is no simpler or cheaper way of keeping hair than not having any.
Lesson 4 – when I hide who I am .. I hide who I am
Through my teens and twenties I suffered from very low self confidence. I believed I had a lot to offer the world but just couldn’t find any voice to let it out.
I can track an inverse correlation between my general confidence levels and the amount and length of my hair. As I lost my hair I found more and more confidence in myself and I got another boost when I started shaving it.
There are many possible cause-and-effect explanations, of course, and I can never prove one over the other. It does seem to make sense though, that the more I hide my physical body (hair, clothes etc.) the more I’m likely to hide the rest of myself.
Lesson 5 – vanity is not attractive .. but the human body is perfectly designed
I do confess that one reason I keep my hair shaved is that I think it makes me look more sexy. Also, I know that if I grow my hair longer then I’ll probably look like the pointy haired boss in the Dilbert cartoons.
I interviewed Mona who said,
‘Many women find it irresistible.’
I’m not revealing what question I asked, of course, nor whether Mona is one of these ‘many women’. But the point is that bald men do have a certain physical appeal. Think Yul Brynner, Bruce Willis, Sean Connery, Homer Simpson or George Clooney without hair.
See what I mean?
Only by shaving my head did I discover just how perfectly formed the human body is. Unless you suffer from Peladophobia (fear of bald people), in which case you’d probably prefer George to keep his hair.
Lesson 6 – I am not the centre of the universe
It took some courage to shave my head for the first time. In fact I was so worried about what people would think. I chose to do it at the start of a three week holiday so my friends, colleagues and the general public, wouldn’t see me.
When I got back, I decided to keep it because I liked it so much and, much to my surprise, hardly anyone noticed. I didn’t attract stares as I walked down the street, nobody commented and I even started to notice many people keeping their hair as short as I do.
I realised that most people are not the least bit interested in what I look like and I am not the centre of the universe!
Lesson 7 – things grow even though I can’t see them
I can’t see it grow, of course, but I’m certain it does. I cut it down to less than a millimetre and 10 days later it’s length has increased tenfold.
I find this pretty amazing – my body is busy growing hair, slowly but surely and I’m not aware of it.
Everything changes over time, even when I can’t see things moving. I’ve learned to trust the invisible powers of life and beyond.
