Posts Tagged ‘Remembrance’

A Gift To The World

Nov 11th, 2009

On this day in 1963, something happened that fundamentally changed the course of my life. It wasn’t something that hit the headlines, but it was something that still has repercussions to this day. In fact, this event is having an effect on you right this moment as you wouldn’t be reading these words if it hadn’t taken place.

11 November 1963 was the day on which I was born.

How To Celebrate

Last night Mona asked me how I want to celebrate my birthday.

My immediate reaction was the same I usually get in relation to my birthday; ‘uuuugggghhhh,’ together with a strong desire to hide in a corner for the whole day and hope everyone else has forgotten it. It’s not my age that’s the problem as I enjoy whatever age I am and 46 is a nice round number.

My problem is partly about celebrating. I don’t really know how to do it.

I watch others celebrate at parties and in bars. Singing, dancing and obviously having a good time. I sit there and just can’t understand it. Externalising my celebration of life is just not my way. I can speak about it, I can feel it deep inside – but expressing it in a ‘traditional’ way is not my style.

There have been times when I faked it, but that’s pretty tiring and I’d prefer to be more authentic. Christmas, weddings, other people’s birthdays, holidays, parties I can just about cope with if I’m in the right frame of mind. I can celebrate with others, though I do generally avoid random parties. I got fed up with drunken revellers demanding I enjoy myself – then dragging me onto the dance floor, trying to get me drunk or, in one horrible incident, trying to persuade me to take cocaine. NO WAY!

I prefer to celebrate quietly. Peacefully. On my own, or with those closest to me.

Still, I’ve struggled over the years to celebrate in any way on my birthday and have tried to hide it where possible.

But not this year.

My Birthday Is About – Me

I’ve long claimed my reluctance to celebrate my birthday was in respect for my grandfather who died on my 21st birthday or that it’s because it’s ‘Remembrance Day‘ or ‘Veterans’ Day’.

Frankly both are weak excuses.

Mona pointed out to me last night:

‘If you can’t appreciate the ways in which you are a gift to the world, then it’s hard to fulfil your potential. And birthdays are the one day in the year when I think you could be doing just that.’

This hit the proverbial nail on the head.

I was brought up to be modest and keep my light hidden. At times I’ve kept it so hidden I’ve actually lost sight of the fact that it’s there.

Each and every one of us is a gift to the World.

Each of us has a light inside that can shine out for the benefit of all – if we choose to let it.

10 Ways I’m A Gift To The World

This is probably the hardest list I’ve ever written. Every cell of my body is crying out,

“Don’t do it! Who are you to blow your own trumpet? You’re going to lose all your readers if you do this. It’s just not DONE!’

So I say ‘thank you’ to the helpful voices in my head … and I’m going to do this anyway.

Three people wouldn’t exist without me … my beautiful daughters Laura (17 years), Elena (6 years) and Nameless One (- 3 months).
My humour which has made many people laugh
My smile which has infected many people with smiles of their own
The simplicity of my material world which inspires several people
My writing which has stimulated change in people
My capacity to listen deeply which gives others the space and love they need to find themselves
My dedication to bring peace into my own life and to share that with others
Through my presence I’ve brought joy to the lives of many people – and Mona is one of them
I make Athos and Balki (our 2 dogs!) wag their tail whenever I give them attention
I tend to inspire quite intense feelings in other people (not all of them enjoyable!).

And Finally …

I had a wonderful early birthday present – my last article had an avalanche of readers (around 30,000 over two days). It came just at a moment I was again asking myself if this blog is really worth the effort I put into it. So a big thank you to all who contributed to the overwhelming success of that post. It made my day!

As it’s my birthday I’m allowed one birthday wish.

I would like to hear, in the comments or by Email the answer to the following question:

In What Ways are YOU a gift to the world?

We each have our own song

Sep 18th, 2009

by ianpeatey.

14 comments

When a woman in a certain African tribe knows she is pregnant, she goes out into the wilderness with a few friends and together they pray and meditate until they hear the song of the child. They recognize that every soul has its own vibration that expresses its unique flavour and purpose. When the women attune to the song, they sing it out loud. Then they return to the tribe and teach it to everyone else.

When the child is born, the community gathers and sings the child’s song to him or her. Later, when the child enters education, the village gathers and chants the child’s song. When the child passes through the initiation to adulthood, the people again come together and sing. At the time of marriage, the person hears his or her song. Finally, when the soul is about to pass from this world, the family and friends gather at the person’s bed, just as they did at their birth, and they sing the person to the next life.

There is something inside each of us that knows we have a song, and we wish those we love would recognize it and support us to sing it. How we all long to be loved, acknowledged, and accepted for who we are!

In the African tribe there is one other occasion upon which the villagers sing to the child.

If at any time during his or her life, the person commits a crime or aberrant social act, the individual is called to the centre of the village and the people in the community form a circle around them. Then they sing their song to them. The tribe recognizes that the correction for antisocial behaviour is not punishment; it is love and the remembrance of identity.

When you recognize your own song, you have no desire or need to do anything that would hurt another.

A friend is someone who knows your song and sings it to you when you have forgotten it. Those who love you are not fooled by mistakes you have made or dark images you hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly; your wholeness when you are broken; your innocence when you feel guilty; and your purpose when you are confused.

Alan Cohen – They’re Playing Your Song

There’s really nothing I can add to this … so I won’t.

Remembrance day

Nov 12th, 2008

by ianpeatey.

2 comments

Yesterday was my birthday. I’ve always resisted celebrating, preferring to keep it quiet without ever being really clear what this reluctance was all about. Yesterday was no exception and I spent it very quietly, withdrawn from the world – apart from some quality time with Elena and a couple of phone calls. It’s always been this way and I never understood why. A special day? Not really. Enjoyable? For the most part, not really.

This morning it hit me what this has been all about for the past 45 years. Celebrating on this day (11 November) would be going against the tide of mass remembrance of all the victims of warfare. ‘Veterans Day’, ‘Remembrance Day’, ‘Armistice Day’, ‘Poppy Day’. In Poland it was the 90th anniversary of independence after generations of aggressive occupation and the mood in the capital was somber, respectful, nationalistic in tone and certainly not celebratory.

I believe that all of us human beings are joined together in many subtle threads of unconscious and spiritual connection. I’m not always sensitive to that as I go about my day to day life in this separate physical body of mine. Even yesterday I was kind of ‘switched off’ for the most part. That is until I woke up at at 6.00am today with this flash of realisation that every day on 11 November there’s been an unconscious part of me that’s tuned in to this collective reflection, remembering and mourning of the tragedy of war. And for all my life it’s been in conflict with this conscious thought that I ‘should be’ celebrating because it’s my birthday. That’s what you do on your birthday isn’t it? Celebrate.

What a relief this is! I thought there was something wrong with me! Well there probably is – but at least not this annual withdrawal from the world. I want to mourn the life lost in war. I want to reflect on the senselessness of killing each other. I want to add my own spirit and voice to the cry of ‘Never Again!’. I want to be in tune with the currents of life around me.

More than this. I want to live in a peaceful world where we solve our conflicts with compassion. I want to live in a world where arming our children and sending them out to kill is abhorrent to each of of us. Where concepts such as sacrifice, duty, ‘country first’ and the glorification of war and death at each other’s hands is a thing of the past.

Today, these things are still very much with us and it’s not much to ask of myself to set aside one day every year to remind myself of these things. I just wish it wasn’t on my birthday!

I suppose celebration can wait until another day!