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Posts Tagged ‘peace’

5 Ways To Live With Fear

Feb 15th, 2010
by ianpeatey.
5 comments

Fear gets a lot of attention in the self development world – some of it rather negative.

Fear is one of the reasons that people don’t get what they want in life.

Fear is the most pervasive psychological problem we have today.

I disagree with this! Fear might not be very enjoyable but, as with many things I’m born with, is a wonderful tool! It’s like the lights on the dashboard of the car communicating that something urgently needs attention. When my needs for safety and security are compromised, fear is my internal warning sign.

Imagine having no mechanism to warn of danger. It would be like driving that car with no instrumentation, no headlights and with my eyes closed.

Exciting, yes, but probably a short-lived trip!

Fear becomes a problem when I misunderstand it, misuse it or allow it to hide what’s essential. I believe I need to develop my  personal relationship to fear on my path to inner peace.

Here are 5 traps I can fall into when I don’t effectively use the fear signal on my personal ‘dashboard of life’.

1.   Pull Out The Wires

If I don’t like the warning lights on the dashboard I can disconnect all the wires.

Hey presto! No fear!

If I can numb myself enough, fear won’t register and I can ignore danger. The price I pay is also to numb myself to all the wonderful things life can bring me.

Modern living gives me a whole range of possibilities for unplugging from the experience of living so if this is your chosen way to live with fear, then try some of these for enhanced effect:

  • take drugs – plenty are available legally, many without prescription
  • watch as much TV as possible – preferably soaps, reality TV and mindless game shows
  • get a routine job – the less mental and physical activity the better

2.   Dance In The Disco Lights

Picture a disco with lots of different lights coming from every direction.

Fear comes in many shapes and sizes, from mild nervousness through to paralysis and panic, and all the shades of fear try to grab my attention. These can be confusing and it’s not always easy to distinguish the feelings and read the signals. Some of that fear might be an urgent warning while others are gentle reminders of things needing attention.

Dancing the fear ‘disco lights’ is most likely from trouble differentiating between fear signals or it could be from an addiction to the adrenaline rush of living the life of a disco dancer (‘Saturday Night Fever’, anyone?).

If this is your way to live with fear:

  • live ‘on edge’ 24/7 – you never know when danger will come
  • treat all danger as equal and life threatening – well, it’s best to be safe isn’t it?
  • react immediately to the slightest sign of fear – don’t think, just do it
  • move as fast as possible from one trigger to the next
  • deal with multiple ‘emergencies’ at the same time.

3.  En-light-enment

If I have no attachment to anything at all I have no need of fear – it becomes a useless tool and disappears from my life.

Danger is only relevant if something I’m attached to is threatened in some way. If I’m not attached to anything then threats have no effect on me and I will feel no fear.

Probably.

Things I might typically be attached to:

  • money – fear of losing it or not having it
  • health – fear of getting sick, of disease
  • image – fear of looking stupid or making a fool of myself
  • life – fear of death.

I’ve heard some people define ‘enlightenment’ as the release of all attachment and hence the removal of fear. This can be a very seductive idea and I’ve met a few people who live by this philosophy. It’s hard to have much of a conversation with them as they seem to be floating in the air and there’s little common ground!

If this is the way you choose to live with(out) fear then be prepared to lose:

  • all possessions
  • everyone you know
  • your identification to everything other than your spiritual core
  • life itself.

That’s not to say you will lose these things, but your reaction to doing so is the only sure way I can think of to test whether you have lost attachment or not.

[On a side note: I find this a great way to look at life, but not especially practical for the vast majority of us. I do want to make conscious choices about the attachments I form, accepting fear as a possible price I pay. For example, I am attached to my own life and those I care about - I accept this comes with some fear when those are threatened.]

4.   Seduced By Bright Lights

There are plenty of people out there with an interest in keeping me afraid.

Not least of which are all those working in organisations profiting from my fear. The more afraid they make me, the more they profit – and I’m not talking about some secret mafia!

a.  Insurance

It’s  a dangerous world so insurance seems a very sensible thing to buy. The industry has a vested interest in pointing out all the things that can go wrong – theft, flood, accident, illness, old age. Even acts of God (though if I read the fine print I may find I’m not actually covered for those!).

b.  Banking

My money is clearly not safe so, for a small fee, banks will look after it and protect it. After all banks never fail, do they?

c.   Defence

The companies involved in defence might not sell to me directly, but they need my support to ensure vast budgets (from my taxes) are allocated to them. The more I fear foreign invasion, terrorists and attacks on my precious way of life, the more I’ll support money for soldiers, weapons and expensive trips to foreign lands.

d.   Health

Most of the ‘health’ industry is, in fact, more interested in my sickness than my health. There’s not much profit in me staying fit and well all the time.

e.   Media

Disaster, pain, suffering, violence gets my fear-adrenaline flowing in way that warm, safe stories don’t. It’s addictive and it sells.

f.   Government

Obviously my government passionately wants me to be happy and fulfilled with life. I have to vote for them, though, and an effective political tool is to generate fear – of economic collapse, invasion by foreign armies, cheap foreign labour and subversive ideas.

Ways to get seduced by all these shining lights:

  • buy and read as many different newspapers and magazines as possible – the more sensational the better
  • watch / listen to 24 hour News channels
  • spend as much time as possible around politicians
  • invite an insurance salesperson around for coffee
  • get to know your bank manager (like in  the good old days!).

5.   Blinded By The Light

Ever caught a rabbit in your headlights?

They sit there, unable to move. We tend to think this a very stupid thing but it’s a very valid fear mechanism – I imagine it worked pretty well before the advent of the motor car.

Freezing in the face of fear works if the danger will pass by without bothering me. It can also be as effective as it is for the rabbit going head to head with a fast approaching vehicle!

I have this paralysis response as part of my fear/safety toolkit. I’ve been in tight spots where I was completely unable to do anything. I’ve also been motionless in the face of nervousness around things I really want to do. And sure enough, those great opportunities just fly past withouth paying me any attention!

Here’s a few tips to get in the mood for this approach:

  • list all the exciting things you’d like to do in this lifetime
  • against each item note all the things that could go wrong
  • ge creative, e.g. if it involves flying – write down all the possible ways the plane might crash
  • visualisation – close your eyes and for each disaster scenario imagine you are in the middle of the crisis.

Any tips you’d like to share for allowing fear to dominate your life?

Surviving Christmas

Dec 21st, 2009
by ianpeatey.
10 comments

It’s Monday 21st December and  I’m looking out of the window at the snow on the ground wondering if we’re going to have a white, Romanian Christmas. The sun has nearly set so the coloured lights of the Christmas trees are starting to appear.

Christmas is everywhere – even the desktop icon on my favourite media player has mysteriously grown a Santa hat (I kid you not! It is cute but truly bizarre! Go to the end of the post to see what I mean).

For the last few years I’ve become increasingly ‘anti-Christmas’.

To be more precise, I’ve become increasingly ‘anti-Christmas-commercialisation.’ I wrote last year about the Corporate Take-Over of Christmas so this year my scrooge-like attention is drawn to the personal domain.

15 Carol Singers

The weekend heralded the arrival, en masse, of carol singers, ranging from well trained young theology students with angel voices through to ragged groups of gypsies who seemed to think that blowing random notes on a trumpet was a good way to herald the holiday season.

I didn’t get the impression that any of the approximately 15 visiting groups were interested in anything other than receiving money. I have a very non-peaceful desire to get all zealous and throw cold water over them – but then I know that would ruin it for everyone.

1 Supermarket Trip

Mona and I went to the supermarket early on Saturday morning, just after it opened at 8.00 am, to buy a few supplies. We assumed that at that time of day everyone would still be asleep or digging their cars out the snow and we’d be able to shop in peace.

I really should learn not to make assumptions.

It was packed with people frantically stocking up and you would have got the impression that the end of the world was about to arrive. We were doing the same, so it would be highly hypocritical of me to complain and we spent at least twice as much money as we normally would on a regular excursion for provisions. There’s really no reason for it other than some vague fear that we might starve over the holiday season and not be able to buy anything if we run out.

I don’t normally notice myself respond to a ’scarcity’ view of life – but this was definitely one of those times.

Starvation, thank God, is not part of my reality and I count myself fortunate when I think of all the millions of people who do not have enough to eat.

559 tree decorations

We just decorated our tree and I have to say it’s looking very pretty. I’ve even taken the liberty of putting a photo of it here!

One thing you will notice is that when it comes to decorating the tree, the concept of scarcity is far from our thinking. There are 559 individual decorations collected over many years. It reminds me of my childhood when the tree was a highlight of the year and a focal point for family life and revellry.

I didn’t actually count them – the number 559 is random and simply implies ‘a lot’. It’s a reasonably harmless demonstration of the excess I usually subject myself to at this time of year.

Excess baubles, excess food, excess drink, excess lazy days in front of the TV.

I doubt I can be 100% frugal but would like to curb some of the usual excess.

How to survive Christmas?

‘Survival’ and ‘Christmas’ may seem like strange sentence bedfellows. Either that or it’s a clear sign of my scrooginess coming out again. At this time – a few days before Christmas – I start to get edgy and I do usually worry about how to get through the festivities without exploding.

This year I decided to stop fighting and go with the flow.

I might not actually enjoy the hordes of money-grabbing carolers, supermarket freaks and glittery plastic things hanging from the tree. But that doesn’t mean I should get irate about the secular perversion of this time of year and shut myself away for a week until it blows over.

It is how it how it is and I can choose to enjoy it or fight it. I’m free to enjoy my way, everyone else is free to enjoy it their way.

To those who celebrate Christmas – enjoy your Christmas. To those who celebrate something else – enjoy your something else. To those who don’t celebrate at all – enjoy your non-celebration.

Life’s too short not to enjoy as much of it as possible – even desktop icons that strangely grow Santa hats!

Start Here – Passion and Compassion

Dec 9th, 2009
by ianpeatey.
13 comments

There’s a lot of sickness, cold calculation, hatred and violence in the world. It’s easy to forget the opposite is also true and resign ourselves to the ills of the world. I don’t believe I can directly or easily change other people – nor do I necessarily have the ‘right’ to do so.

553298_old_man

What I can do is start with myself and trust that it makes a difference.

There are three things I consider important:

  1. Look after myself
  2. Live with passion
  3. Choose compassion and peace.

1.   Look After Myself

Maybe you’ve heard the story (or similar) about the favourite uncle who lived to 105 years smoking 2 packs of cigarettes a day and staying stubbornly overweight all his life. The conclusion is the secret to long life is to smoke and eat a lot.

Clearly this is false logic.

The uncle (if he indeed was real) was an exception and not the rule. Long life came despite the nicotine and excessive calories, not because of it. Just because it’s possible to live a long life no matter how I abuse myself doesn’t make it probable.

Looking after myself improves my chances I maintain the inner resources for a full, happy and meaningful life. It’s about looking after my physical, emotional, mental and spiritual health.

It’s about:

  • choosing to put things into my body that are healthy
  • keeping in shape
  • developing my awareness of and listening to my emotions
  • constantly questioning my assumptions and beliefs in the sure knowledge that I can never be certain of anything (except that I can never be certain)
  • seeking out new experiences, people, ways of seeing the world, ideas, bodies of learning
  • finding and maintaining a spiritual practice.

2.   Live With Passion

860335_bungy_rideLisis over at Quest For Balance recently published an article ‘The Passion Paradox’ about passion. She writes about what she calls the modern day ’snake oil’ salespeople promising easy riches if only you follow your passion in life. She points out the same false logic as the ‘favourite uncle’ story – if Mr/Mrs X followed their life’s passion and got rich it does not mean everyone will do the same.

There are many people in the world who have accumulated a lot of wealth – and there are far more who haven’t. Wealth, of course, doesn’t define any of us as human beings unless we allow it. Passion is much closer to defining who we are.

As Lisis writes:

we should bring our passion into anything we do, with no expectation of profit

Passion is about how I manifest myself in the world – defining what I choose to do and what I give of myself when I do it. If I’m passionate about what I do, results are secondary. I might change the world. I might get ridiculously wealthy.

I might not.

If I do something out of passion – I do it for myself, not for others. If I live with passion – with all my resources – mind, heart and soul – the results don’t matter. When the results matter to other people, when what I do is valuable to them, I might get some feedback. I might receive praise, appreciation, and yes, perhaps even money. The more people touched by what I do, the more I’ll likely receive.

It’s about:

  • Knowing what gets me excited, interested, motivated
  • Doing things that give me pride and a sense of achievement
  • Caring about what I do and how I do it
  • Eliminating as many of the things that don’t excite me and I don’t care about.

3.   Choose Compassion and Peace

How I relate and treat the people around me is a choice I make.

When I choose compassion over hate I build bridges, heal wounds in me and others, bring gentleness instead of  harshness.When I choose peace over violence I calm things down, I connect rather than separate and I create in  place of destruction.

Most importantly when I’m compassionate and peaceful with others I’m also loving to myself. And that’s much more powerful than hate and violence. It may not be as obvious, may not be as immediate but it’s effects are far deeper and last much longer.

It’s about:

  • Valuing each and every human being
  • Reaching out when I feel like withdrawing
  • Holding out my hand not my fist
  • Taking responsibility for my life and not pretending I’m a victim of others.

Finally

Healthy living doesn’t guarantee a long happy life. Following your passion won’t necessarily make you rich. Choosing compassion and peace won’t eliminate hate and violence.

These things don’t come with any guarantees – but that’s not a good reason to choose the opposite.

24 Moments Of Peace

Nov 23rd, 2009
by ianpeatey.
14 comments

Each of us starts our day waking from sleep – the most peaceful of states. Keeping that state of peace can be tough, especially as we bustle through a typical day getting things done. Even harder for those surrounded by city chaos or who work in a factory or an office.

I found one way is to take regular ‘Moments Of Peace’ – short oases of attention to allow the turmoil of the day to fall away and recharge my inner space.

888294_early_morning_sun

Here are 24, easily available moments to get you through the day.

Start Of The Day

1.     Before everything starts

I always aim to get up early, before the rest of the city wakes. You don’t even need to go out to feel the fresh energy of the new day. Whatever went before was yesterday and today is a chance to start again.

Imagine you’re standing with your back against an impenetrable wall and know there’s no turning back. Remember the rest of your life starts now, this moment, and you have this new day to take your first steps into it.

2.     Sunrise

The ancients worshipped the sun as the bringer of all life and heralded the sunrise as the daily metamorphosis from night to day. This time of day is full of expectation for the new day, cool before the sun brings its warmth, dark before it brings its light.

Watch as the sun slowly appears from below the horizon and gradually shows its face.

3.     In traffic

Sitting in traffic can be very frustrating, if you choose it to be. Alternatively you could let go of your desire to control things and relax into the uncontrollable. There is nothing you can do to make the cars move faster, no matter how hard you will it.

So stop willing it, relax your body in the safety of the metal cocoon you call your car.

At Work

1005499_alone_in_the_office_24.     Arrive early

I don’t recommend it as a habit, necessarily (though avoiding the traffic can be a huge benefit) but from time to time can be very refreshing. No phone calls, no one wanting your time is an ideal moment to be with yourself and your thoughts.

A few hours early before everyone else arrives can allow concentrated, stress free time.

5.     Mundane tasks

I had a period where I would photocopy binders for training courses I was running even though I had an assistant who was paid to do this, and more than capable than I! The repetitive and mundane nature of the work allowed me to calm down.

Find something with a rhythm, turn off your brain and just be with the task at hand.

6.     Waiting

Waiting for a meeting (or ‘not-waiting‘)? Put aside your impatience and idea that this is wasted time and enjoy the moment of no obligation and nothing to do but sit and wait.

Stop checking the clock as it won’t make time pass any faster, and sit back and let time itself hold you.

7.     In the toilet

Strange thing to suggest, I know, but it’s probably the only place where you can almost guarantee that nobody is going to pester you. Don’t use it more often than is biologically necessary or you may get stuck with a reputation.

Close your eyes (to forget the location) and enjoy those few uninterrupted moments of solitude.

8.     Go for a walk

Even in the middle of a city or an industrial park there are open spaces. They may not be green and beautiful but any change of scene, or move outside into the air (ideally fresh!) can be a wonderful way to gain composure.

Figure something out or just to take a short peace break.

Out And About

9.     Church or temple

Places of worship hold the prayers of the ages in respectful silence. You don’t need to have any religious convictions to use them as an escape from the rush of the streets. Here there is no space to be busy, just you and the divine. Or you and nothingness, if that’s closer to your beliefs.

Find a quiet place to sit and take in the sacred energy available for all those willing to tune into it.

10.     People watching

You can do this anywhere at all. A café, a bench or just sit on the steps and stop. The peaceful moment is in the contrast between your tranquillity amongst the chaos.

Sit and watch the people rushing to work, home or meeting as you take a moment to be rather than do.

11.     Watching clouds

We owe our lives to the clouds. Contemplate a world with no clouds – no rain, no plants, no animals, no food, no life. Lose yourself in the ever changing shapes and patterns across the sky.

What pictures, what messages can you see in the clouds?

281462_hug_a_tree

12.     Hugging trees

Yes, it’s a hippy thing, but just try it. Trees are often unnoticed, yet everywhere.  Feel the bark under your fingers, imagine the roots burying deep into the ground and allow yourself to be held in its strength. Ask yourself what events has it witnessed?

Put aside the New Age associations (if that helps), find the oldest tree you can and put your arms around it.

13.     Swings

I know kids playgrounds are meant for children, but we all have a child deep inside. There’s something deeply peaceful about moving without purpose, knowing that no matter how hard you push, you’re just not going to get anywhere.

Find a free swing and just sway back and forward, feeling the air on your face.

14.     On safari

If safari to Africa is out of reach then create your own local one. Animals of all kinds are everywhere, in plain view or hidden away. You can find them in the fields, forests, gardens or walking down the street.

Spend a moment searching for as many species of mammal, bird or insect as you can and remind yourself that you share the world with them. Do this with your kids for an extra bonus.

Anytime, Anywhere

15.     Breathe

Three deep, controlled breaths with full concentration on the in and out works wonders to remove stress, emotion and find the peaceful place underneath. When you’re tense your breathing becomes short and shallow but you rarely notice it.

Bring your awareness here and savour the air as it fills your lungs. Exhale and allow all the stuff you’re holding onto to leave your body. Three times. In and out.

16.     Conscious clearing of thoughts

Takes some practice, preferably a quiet place to sit and maybe one of the various techniques available.

Try this one. Imagine an empty sky in your mind’s eye. Thoughts appear as clouds floating slowly across the sky. The thoughts gradually change shape and slowly disappear from view or are vaporised by the sun shining in your sky.

800982_stop

17.     Stop what you’re doing right now

This is probably the easiest and the hardest at the same time. Most of us keep busy all the time and find it very difficult to get out of it. A time of no tasks, no movement, no thoughts.

Just stop! Everything. Allow the wave of time to pass without responding to the impulse to surf it.

18.     Count to ten

It’s a cliché, I know, but it does work. A conscious, slow count from one to ten provides a rhythm and an inner slowing down. Don’t rush it and do count all those numbers to feel the stress fall away bit by bit with each number.

One … two … three … four … five … six … seven … eight … nine … ten.

At Home

19.     Doing the chores

Most chores can be turned into a meditative routine and so present an opportunity to switch brain to off and lose yourself in the task.

Ironing, washing up or washing the car require almost zero brainpower – use them to turn brain off.

20.     Sunset

Watch as the sun slowly disappears below the horizon and gradually hides its face. As the day draws to a close, remember what the day has brought you. Things to be grateful for, things to mourn over, things gained, things lost.

Who touched you in some way during this day? Who did you touch in some way?

1165884_water_drops21.     Cleaning your body

Take a long hot bath, a short shower or just a moment to splash cold water on your face and allow your tension and troubles to be washed away with the dirt. Enjoy the freshness outside and inside.

Imagine everything that weighs you down right now disappearing into the drains with the water – flowing far, far away until they are gone.

22.     Gazing into eyes

They say that our eyes are the window to our souls. Our souls are beyond all the cares and worries of our physical world and, while we may not always be in touch with our own, we can access that place through the eyes of another.

Gaze deeply into the eyes of one you love and be transported to a place where there is only peace and tranquility.

23.     Hug

Consider how much peace there is in the innocence of a hug. Or how much peace in the safety you give in your hug. No expectation, no attempt to get anything – just the desire for two people to be close and wrapped in each other’s warmth.

Hug someone close to you and the moment you would normally break the embrace, stay with it and go deeper into that physical connection.

24.     When all is done

That moment at the end of the day when all is done. Chores are finished, computer is off, TV is shut down, lights are going off, bathroom routine finished. Before settling down to sleep take a moment to allow the days’ activities to fall away.

Nothing is left for the day …

… only peace.

10 Books That Shook My World

Nov 7th, 2009
by ianpeatey.
71 comments

Books are an important part of my life and I read a lot, though not as much as I’d like. A few rare books I wish I hadn’t bothered with, but mostly I’m selective about what I buy and rely on recommendations from those I trust.

From time to time I read a book that changes my life in a big way.

339265_old_books

These are the ten inspirational books that changed my life – in more or less the order they came into my hands.

It’s a uniquely personal list and I’m certain your own list would be very different.

I’m not saying these are all great works, or suggesting they would change your life as they did mine – each came and spoke to me at a particular time and place. If they’d come at another moment in my life, they would have joined the category of ‘interesting, useful or inspiring’ but not made it to this top category of ‘books that changed my life’.

With each I’ve provided a summary (adapted from various sources) as well as my favourite quote and a link to Amazon if you want know more (or even buy it).

1 Jane Eyre   (Charlotte Brontë)9780141441146

I read this in my late teens and, after being an avid reader as a child, had almost given up on books for the lure of the TV screen. It was this novel that got me interested in reading again. I touched for the first time how storytelling can pull you in and take you on an emotional ride.

For those who assume it’s a ‘girl’s book’ I can tell you I lent it to a friend at the time. He was from a mining town in the North of England and there was definitely nothing ‘girlie’ about him. The book made him cry.

In brief

Partly autobiographical, the novel goes through five stages of Jane’s life: her childhood, where she’s emotionally abused by her aunt and cousins; her education, which is tough but where she makes friends; her time as the governess of a Manor, where she falls in love with Rochester, her employer; her time with the Rivers family, where her cousin proposes to her; and her reunion with and marriage to Rochester.

Favourite quote

Prejudices, it is well known, are most difficult to eradicate from the heart whose soil has never been loosened or fertilised by education: they grow there, firm as weeds among stones.

‘Jane Eyre’ at Amazon US or Amazon UK

2    Grapes Of Wrath   (John Steinbeck)9780140292923

I remember reading the last page and not being able to move or speak for what seemed like hours. It was my first glimpse of what terrible things we can do to each other and yet still impossible to quash the bright spark of humanity. I still find the final page emotionally devastating.

In brief

Set during the Great Depression, the novel focuses on a poor family of share-croppers, the Joads, driven from their Oklahoma home by drought, economic hardship, and changes in the agriculture industry. In a desperate situation, they set out for California along with thousands of other “Okies” in search of land and jobs.

Favourite quote

How can you frighten a man whose hunger is not only in his own cramped stomach but in the wretched bellies of his children? You can’t scare him – he has known a fear beyond every other.

‘Grapes of Wrath’ at Amazon US or Amazon UK

3   The Alchemist   (Paolo Coelho)9780722532935

It came to me at a time when I was searching all over the place for peace and happiness in my life. Everything seemed a struggle as my focus was ‘over there’ and definitely not in the places I was and the people I was with.

It was this book that opened my eyes to a wealth of literary treasures coming out of South America as well as relating some of my own life through a beautiful fable.

In brief

Tells the story of a young shepherd named Santiago who finds a treasure beyond his wildest dreams. Along the way, he learns to listen to his heart and, more importantly, realizes that his dreams, or his Personal Legend, are not just his but part of the Soul of the Universe.

Favourite quote

When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.

‘The Alchemist’ at Amazon US or Amazon UK

4   Loving What Is (Byron Katie)9780712629300

I first heard about Byron Katie from a friend who was very enthusiastic about her Work, so I bought the book. I was still fighting with the reality of how I’d constructed my life and using the method in this book took away all that stress and anguish (well most of it).

If you’ve not come across the Work before then there are several great videos on YouTube.

In brief

The basis of the book is a series of four questions addressed to your assumptions. Starting with, “Is it true?” and continuing with explorations of “Who would you be without that thought?” the method aims to get through unhelpful preconceptions and find peace. An integral part of the process is “turning the thought around,” where you’ll find an acceptance of reality, beyond questions of fault and blame.

Favourite quote

I realized that it’s insane to oppose it. When I argue with reality, I lose—but only 100% of the time. How do I know that the wind should blow? It’s blowing!

‘Loving What Is’ at Amazon US or Amazon UK

5   A Brief History of Everything   (Ken Wilber)9780717132331

Not an easy read at all – even for someone as intelligent as me (haha). I read it at a time when I was looking for my own understanding of spirituality and my place in the universe. It didn’t give me an answer to that question but did give me a new way of looking at the universe that has been incredibly supportive in my search.

It’s one of the few books that pushed me to the limit of my mental capacity.

In brief

Wilber examines the course of evolution as the unfolding manifestation of Spirit, from matter to life to mind, including the higher stages of spiritual evolution, when Spirit becomes conscious of itself. In each of these domains of evolution, he finds recurring patterns, and by looking at these patterns, learn much about the predicament of our world and the direction humanity must take if global transformation is to become a reality

Favourite quote

I don’t mean to be crude, but it appears that testosterone basically has two, and only two, major drives: f*** it or kill it.

‘A Brief History Of Everything’ at Amazon US or Amazon UK

6   Long Walk To Freedom     (Nelson Mandela)9780349106533

I grew up believing the media line that, while apartheid was a monstrous invention, Mandela was a terrorist and should be in prison. From a historical point of view this was probably because the British government was refusing to have anything to do with the IRA and so were nervous of any attempt to turn freedom fighters, guerillas or terrorists into heroes. Mandela became one of my heroes.

This book inspired me to see that non-violent struggle is the only way to lasting social change, and that the media, no matter how much freedom of speech I have, is an extension of the State.

In brief

Nelson Mandela’s autobiography describing his early life, coming of age, education and 27 years in prison. The last chapters of the book describe his political ascension, and his belief that the struggle continues against apartheid in South Africa.

Favourite quote

No one truly knows a nation until one has been inside its jails. A nation should not be judged by how it treats its highest citizens but its lowest ones.

‘Long Walk To Freedom’ at Amazon US or Amazon UK

7   The Power Of Now     (Eckhart Tolle)9780340733509

I find it hard to explain why this had such an impact on me – I hardly remember the details of the book at all. I can picture, however, exactly where I was when I was reading it – down to the details of what I was eating, smelling, experiencing. Somehow it brought me into the present (the Now) in a very subtle but powerful way. It stays with me to this day.

In brief

Living in the now is the truest path to happiness and enlightenment. (I told you I couldn’t remember much about the content!)

Favourite quote

You can always cope with the now, but you can never cope with the future – nor do you have to. The answer, the strength, the right action or the resource will be there when you need it, not before, not after.

‘The Power Of Now’ at Amazon US or Amazon UK

8   No Logo    (Naomi Klein)9780006530404

I love books that my challenge my view of the world and this one turned it upside down. I’d grown up in the corporate world and never considered what might lay under the surface. This opened my eyes in a way that I can never close them again. It made me much more conscious of the impact of the corporate takeover of the world and my role in it.

In brief

Builds an angry and funny case against branding in general and several large North American companies in particular, notably Gap, Microsoft and Starbucks. What should be a time of consumer choice and interactive communication has not materialized. Instead, huge corporations treat the world as a giant marketing opportunity. These companies have harmed culture and workers both in the Developing World and at home.

Favourite quote

There are already ads on benches in national parks as well as on library cards in public libraries, and in December 1998 NASA announced plans to solicit ads on its space stations. Pepsi’s ongoing threat to project its logo onto the moon’s surface hasn’t yet materialized…

‘No Logo’ at Amazon US or Amazon UK

9   The Prophet    (Kahlil Gibran)9780330319720

Beautiful, lyrical and wise. I learned many things from this book, and I think the verses on children are the ones I find most powerful. On every line of every page there’s a treat to be relished and savoured and it’s the one book I recommend everyone to read.

So read it.

In brief

Essentially a work of spiritual poetry, it contains Gibran’s philosophy on major concepts in human life, such as love, joy, self-knowledge, freedom, Law, religion, and reason.

Favourite quote

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.

‘The Prophet’ at Amazon US or Amazon UK

10   Maturity     (Osho)9780312205614

Osho is something of a mystery to me. Spiritual teacher owning a large fleet of Rolls Royce’s and deported from the USA – yet some of his writings are amazing. This is the one that spoke to me and I read this as I was coming up to 45 (one of the transition markers) and it helped me understand many of the things that I’d been working with during what might be described as my mid-life crisis. I probably wouldn’t have started this blog if it hadn’t been for this book.

In brief

Osho takes us back to the roots of what it means to grow up rather than just to grow old and explores the benefits in accepting the ageing process as natural, rather than trying to hold on to youth . Both in our relationships with others, and in the fulfilment of our own individual destinies, he reminds us of the pleasures that only true maturity can bring. He outlines the ten major growth cycles in human life, from the self-centred universe of the preschooler to the flowering of wisdom and compassion in old age.

Favourite quote

Listen to your being. It is continuously giving you hints; it is a still, small voice. It does not shout at you, that is true. And if you are a little silent you will start feeling your way.

‘Maturity’ at Amazon US or Amazon UK

Notes about Amazon

1 I’m currently working on setting up an Amazon aStore to replace the box on the right (which I don’t much like). I’m going to put in one place all the books I recommend and I’m hoping it will be a useful addition to the site.

2 I personally use Amazon a lot as I find them reliable, easy to use and I enjoy the reviews and information they give. I also have an Affiliate account with them (as do many bloggers). Obviously I recommend you read these books – and if you choose to buy after clicking the links then I get a small commission from Amazon (in fact, the commission covers your entire order – not only from the books above).

I understand if that’s not OK with you – in which case don’t buy through the links above!

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