An old Cherokee tale tells of a grandfather talking to his grandson. The grandfather tells his grandson,
“Son, on the inside of every person a battle is raging between two wolves. One wolf is angry, jealous, unforgiving, violent, proud and lazy. The other wolf is filled with love, kindness, nonviolence, humility, and self-control. The two wolves are constantly fighting.”
The little boy thought about it, and said, “Grandfather, which wolf is going to win?”
The grandfather smiled and said, “whichever one you feed.”
This is an old parable that I’ve read in several places and for me it has a strong and powerful message. I always have a choice about which wolf I nurture and feed – no person or circumstance can force me to choose one over the other. This choice is my responsibility alone and I can’t pass that anywhere else. When I do (who hasn’t at some time in their lives?) then I’m playing the game of aggressor or victim.
But I have a question!
What do I do with the wolf I decide not to feed (the violent one, in case you’re in any doubt)? Probably the question becomes irrelevant once I reach enlightenment and frankly, I’m not expecting that any lifetime soon, so it’s going to be an ongoing issue! That wolf is not going to die no matter how much I starve it and hungry wolves tend to be more dangerous than well fed ones!
Here’s the dilemma. If I feed it then I give it power and if I starve it then it goes underground and starts to show itself in ways I don’t enjoy.
I happen to believe that this angry, jealous, unforgiving, violent, proud and lazy wolf is trying to communicate important messages to me and has my best interests at heart. What if I don’t feed it but I do listen to it? If I can hear what it wants to say, and the positive intention behind it, then it’s going to be satisfied.
- When that lazy wolf starts to drain my energy I want to hear that as a request for some rest, a desire for some attention for myself, or maybe as a warning that things are getting unsafe and I need to withdraw for a while.
- When that angry wolf starts to howl I want to hear that as a cry for action, that someone else is doing something that’s hurting me.
You get the idea? I don’t necessarily want to react the way that wolf is urging, but I do want to hear what it’s trying to say. These are all useful messages, if I have the skill (and patience) to listen to them. The other wolf, the one filled with love, kindness, nonviolence, humility, and self-control can now take over and do its stuff!
But only if that’s the wolf I’ve been feeding.
