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10 Books That Shook My World

Nov 7th, 2009
by ianpeatey.
76 comments

Books are an important part of my life and I read a lot, though not as much as I’d like. A few rare books I wish I hadn’t bothered with, but mostly I’m selective about what I buy and rely on recommendations from those I trust.

From time to time I read a book that changes my life in a big way.

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These are the ten inspirational books that changed my life – in more or less the order they came into my hands.

It’s a uniquely personal list and I’m certain your own list would be very different.

I’m not saying these are all great works, or suggesting they would change your life as they did mine – each came and spoke to me at a particular time and place. If they’d come at another moment in my life, they would have joined the category of ‘interesting, useful or inspiring’ but not made it to this top category of ‘books that changed my life’.

With each I’ve provided a summary (adapted from various sources) as well as my favourite quote and a link to Amazon if you want know more (or even buy it).

1 Jane Eyre   (Charlotte Brontë)9780141441146

I read this in my late teens and, after being an avid reader as a child, had almost given up on books for the lure of the TV screen. It was this novel that got me interested in reading again. I touched for the first time how storytelling can pull you in and take you on an emotional ride.

For those who assume it’s a ‘girl’s book’ I can tell you I lent it to a friend at the time. He was from a mining town in the North of England and there was definitely nothing ‘girlie’ about him. The book made him cry.

In brief

Partly autobiographical, the novel goes through five stages of Jane’s life: her childhood, where she’s emotionally abused by her aunt and cousins; her education, which is tough but where she makes friends; her time as the governess of a Manor, where she falls in love with Rochester, her employer; her time with the Rivers family, where her cousin proposes to her; and her reunion with and marriage to Rochester.

Favourite quote

Prejudices, it is well known, are most difficult to eradicate from the heart whose soil has never been loosened or fertilised by education: they grow there, firm as weeds among stones.

‘Jane Eyre’ at Amazon US or Amazon UK

2    Grapes Of Wrath   (John Steinbeck)9780140292923

I remember reading the last page and not being able to move or speak for what seemed like hours. It was my first glimpse of what terrible things we can do to each other and yet still impossible to quash the bright spark of humanity. I still find the final page emotionally devastating.

In brief

Set during the Great Depression, the novel focuses on a poor family of share-croppers, the Joads, driven from their Oklahoma home by drought, economic hardship, and changes in the agriculture industry. In a desperate situation, they set out for California along with thousands of other “Okies” in search of land and jobs.

Favourite quote

How can you frighten a man whose hunger is not only in his own cramped stomach but in the wretched bellies of his children? You can’t scare him – he has known a fear beyond every other.

‘Grapes of Wrath’ at Amazon US or Amazon UK

3   The Alchemist   (Paolo Coelho)9780722532935

It came to me at a time when I was searching all over the place for peace and happiness in my life. Everything seemed a struggle as my focus was ‘over there’ and definitely not in the places I was and the people I was with.

It was this book that opened my eyes to a wealth of literary treasures coming out of South America as well as relating some of my own life through a beautiful fable.

In brief

Tells the story of a young shepherd named Santiago who finds a treasure beyond his wildest dreams. Along the way, he learns to listen to his heart and, more importantly, realizes that his dreams, or his Personal Legend, are not just his but part of the Soul of the Universe.

Favourite quote

When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.

‘The Alchemist’ at Amazon US or Amazon UK

4   Loving What Is (Byron Katie)9780712629300

I first heard about Byron Katie from a friend who was very enthusiastic about her Work, so I bought the book. I was still fighting with the reality of how I’d constructed my life and using the method in this book took away all that stress and anguish (well most of it).

If you’ve not come across the Work before then there are several great videos on YouTube.

In brief

The basis of the book is a series of four questions addressed to your assumptions. Starting with, “Is it true?” and continuing with explorations of “Who would you be without that thought?” the method aims to get through unhelpful preconceptions and find peace. An integral part of the process is “turning the thought around,” where you’ll find an acceptance of reality, beyond questions of fault and blame.

Favourite quote

I realized that it’s insane to oppose it. When I argue with reality, I lose—but only 100% of the time. How do I know that the wind should blow? It’s blowing!

‘Loving What Is’ at Amazon US or Amazon UK

5   A Brief History of Everything   (Ken Wilber)9780717132331

Not an easy read at all – even for someone as intelligent as me (haha). I read it at a time when I was looking for my own understanding of spirituality and my place in the universe. It didn’t give me an answer to that question but did give me a new way of looking at the universe that has been incredibly supportive in my search.

It’s one of the few books that pushed me to the limit of my mental capacity.

In brief

Wilber examines the course of evolution as the unfolding manifestation of Spirit, from matter to life to mind, including the higher stages of spiritual evolution, when Spirit becomes conscious of itself. In each of these domains of evolution, he finds recurring patterns, and by looking at these patterns, learn much about the predicament of our world and the direction humanity must take if global transformation is to become a reality

Favourite quote

I don’t mean to be crude, but it appears that testosterone basically has two, and only two, major drives: f*** it or kill it.

‘A Brief History Of Everything’ at Amazon US or Amazon UK

6   Long Walk To Freedom     (Nelson Mandela)9780349106533

I grew up believing the media line that, while apartheid was a monstrous invention, Mandela was a terrorist and should be in prison. From a historical point of view this was probably because the British government was refusing to have anything to do with the IRA and so were nervous of any attempt to turn freedom fighters, guerillas or terrorists into heroes. Mandela became one of my heroes.

This book inspired me to see that non-violent struggle is the only way to lasting social change, and that the media, no matter how much freedom of speech I have, is an extension of the State.

In brief

Nelson Mandela’s autobiography describing his early life, coming of age, education and 27 years in prison. The last chapters of the book describe his political ascension, and his belief that the struggle continues against apartheid in South Africa.

Favourite quote

No one truly knows a nation until one has been inside its jails. A nation should not be judged by how it treats its highest citizens but its lowest ones.

‘Long Walk To Freedom’ at Amazon US or Amazon UK

7   The Power Of Now     (Eckhart Tolle)9780340733509

I find it hard to explain why this had such an impact on me – I hardly remember the details of the book at all. I can picture, however, exactly where I was when I was reading it – down to the details of what I was eating, smelling, experiencing. Somehow it brought me into the present (the Now) in a very subtle but powerful way. It stays with me to this day.

In brief

Living in the now is the truest path to happiness and enlightenment. (I told you I couldn’t remember much about the content!)

Favourite quote

You can always cope with the now, but you can never cope with the future – nor do you have to. The answer, the strength, the right action or the resource will be there when you need it, not before, not after.

‘The Power Of Now’ at Amazon US or Amazon UK

8   No Logo    (Naomi Klein)9780006530404

I love books that my challenge my view of the world and this one turned it upside down. I’d grown up in the corporate world and never considered what might lay under the surface. This opened my eyes in a way that I can never close them again. It made me much more conscious of the impact of the corporate takeover of the world and my role in it.

In brief

Builds an angry and funny case against branding in general and several large North American companies in particular, notably Gap, Microsoft and Starbucks. What should be a time of consumer choice and interactive communication has not materialized. Instead, huge corporations treat the world as a giant marketing opportunity. These companies have harmed culture and workers both in the Developing World and at home.

Favourite quote

There are already ads on benches in national parks as well as on library cards in public libraries, and in December 1998 NASA announced plans to solicit ads on its space stations. Pepsi’s ongoing threat to project its logo onto the moon’s surface hasn’t yet materialized…

‘No Logo’ at Amazon US or Amazon UK

9   The Prophet    (Kahlil Gibran)9780330319720

Beautiful, lyrical and wise. I learned many things from this book, and I think the verses on children are the ones I find most powerful. On every line of every page there’s a treat to be relished and savoured and it’s the one book I recommend everyone to read.

So read it.

In brief

Essentially a work of spiritual poetry, it contains Gibran’s philosophy on major concepts in human life, such as love, joy, self-knowledge, freedom, Law, religion, and reason.

Favourite quote

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.

‘The Prophet’ at Amazon US or Amazon UK

10   Maturity     (Osho)9780312205614

Osho is something of a mystery to me. Spiritual teacher owning a large fleet of Rolls Royce’s and deported from the USA – yet some of his writings are amazing. This is the one that spoke to me and I read this as I was coming up to 45 (one of the transition markers) and it helped me understand many of the things that I’d been working with during what might be described as my mid-life crisis. I probably wouldn’t have started this blog if it hadn’t been for this book.

In brief

Osho takes us back to the roots of what it means to grow up rather than just to grow old and explores the benefits in accepting the ageing process as natural, rather than trying to hold on to youth . Both in our relationships with others, and in the fulfilment of our own individual destinies, he reminds us of the pleasures that only true maturity can bring. He outlines the ten major growth cycles in human life, from the self-centred universe of the preschooler to the flowering of wisdom and compassion in old age.

Favourite quote

Listen to your being. It is continuously giving you hints; it is a still, small voice. It does not shout at you, that is true. And if you are a little silent you will start feeling your way.

‘Maturity’ at Amazon US or Amazon UK

Notes about Amazon

1 I’m currently working on setting up an Amazon aStore to replace the box on the right (which I don’t much like). I’m going to put in one place all the books I recommend and I’m hoping it will be a useful addition to the site.

2 I personally use Amazon a lot as I find them reliable, easy to use and I enjoy the reviews and information they give. I also have an Affiliate account with them (as do many bloggers). Obviously I recommend you read these books – and if you choose to buy after clicking the links then I get a small commission from Amazon (in fact, the commission covers your entire order – not only from the books above).

I understand if that’s not OK with you – in which case don’t buy through the links above!

We think too much and feel too little

Sep 11th, 2009
by ianpeatey.
12 comments

We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each other’s happiness – not by each other’s misery. We don’t want to hate and despise one another. In this world there’s room for everyone and the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone.

The way of life can be free and beautiful, but we have lost the way.

Greed has poisoned men’s souls – has barricaded the world with hate – has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed. We have developed speed, but we have shut ourselves in. Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge has made us cynical; our cleverness, hard and unkind.

We think too much and feel too little.

More than machinery we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness.

Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost.

The aeroplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in man – cries for universal brotherhood – for the unity of us all. Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world – millions of despairing men, women, and little children – victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people.

To those who can hear me, I say: ‘Do not despair.’ The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed – the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people.

And so long as men die, liberty will never perish.

Charlie Chaplin ‘The Great Dictator‘ 1940

Recently I watched the ‘The Great Dictator‘ for the first time.

I know some rate it as one of the cinema ‘greats, but frankly I almost fell asleep! As a slice of history, though, it’s a superb film to watch. Chaplin said that he wouldn’t have made the film if he’d known about the concentration camps. He made it in 1940 before the world had discovered the terrible fate of so many.

At the end of the film Chaplin makes a long speech which somehow struck a chord with me. It seems to be one of those timeless speeches that could apply as much today as it did in 1940. The technology has changed a little, the players on the world stage have changed, but it still carries a powerful message for us.

And today, of all days, is one when we remember with terrible clarity what human beings are capable of when they forget these things.

The beauty of differences

May 20th, 2009
by ianpeatey.
16 comments

With approximately 6 billion unique people living on this planet, there’s a lot of difference. No other person experiences the world exactly as I do. They all see it, hear it and think about it differently. They all have different tastes, preferences, dreams, aspirations, motivations, beliefs … the list is endless.

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Enjoying this infinite array of difference can be delightful and a wonderful challenge.

I’d like to live my life enjoying and celebrating ALL those differences. Not only with those who think and act a little different from me but also those who are polar opposites. The further away someone is, the greater the opportunity for mutual learning and enjoyment – and the greater the gap between us I need to handle.

If I don’t have an appropriate attitude and skills, even small differences can be a major headache as I interact, communicate, work and live with others.

More than that, I believe our collective lack of these attitudes and skills is at the root of much of the violence in the world. Consider a ‘terrorist’ bombing, an invading army, a mugging on the street, a wife beating. Often they are not caused by differences or by some pathology but rather by our failure to handle difference peacefully.

Attitudes to difference

If I see the world as basically divided into ‘good/bad’ or ‘right/wrong’ then I’m going to have a hard time coping with anything that deviates from my way of thinking. I will use my energy to turn the ‘bad’ into ‘good’ and to correct the mistakes of those who are ‘wrong’.

In this view of the world difference is a threat and I tend to be repulsed by it.

Even if I’m open-minded enough to be persuaded to change my mind from time to time, this ‘either/or’ thinking puts my energy into division and separation. In order to change my mind (or behaviour) it is up to you to present me with substantial enough evidence for me to convert. Or perhaps I’ll put my energy into trying to change you, maybe even by force if necessary.

Take skin colour as an example.

In polarised thinking I might determine my skin colour to be ‘good’ and other colours ‘bad’. The further away your skin colour from mine, the more ‘bad’ you are and, while I might not try to change your skin colour, I might value you less highly and avoid or marginalise you.

Clearly this is a crazy attitude, but crazy seems to be very common!

I believe an important step is to change my polarised, static thinking into something that flows and to recognise that in most things there is a continuum and there is variety.

People are not black or white, but represent a whole rainbow of colour, and not just in skin pigmentation!

If I’m curious, every difference represents an addition to my experience and a chance to add something to my understanding of the human condition. I may be horrified, afraid or disgusted by it, but that’s a strong indicator that the gap is wide and the potential for learning huge.

In this view of the world, difference is welcome and I’m attracted to it.

Skills of handling difference

I don’t think there is any mysterious skill involved and it’s within all of us and is easily learned and refined.

Consider those people who seem naturally at ease with the variations in the people around them. I believe they are skilled in 4 basic areas:

  • Finding common ground

Despite the multitude ways we differ from each other, at the core we’re the same. We’re made of the same material, are physically designed to a similar blueprint and we share the same universal needs. We drink the same water, breathe the same air and eat food. And we all need love with it’s myriad manifestations.

While I may not find common ground in our thinking, beliefs or preferences, I can always find common ground in our shared humanity.

  • Enquiry

Asking questions from an enquiring mind gives you an opportunity to share your inner world with me. Enquiring questions are open (what? how?) and short and explore rather than interrogate.

  • Listening

Fully listening not only to your words, but to the deeper currents of emotions and values. So called ‘active listening’ can be faked but not sustained. The highest levels of listening are an invitation to you to open up. It is a gift of my attention and space where I cherish your experience and life energy.

  • Expressing

Sharing what is alive in me, my vulnerabilities, my joys and the journey of my life gives you a chance to learn from me. It builds trust and mutual connection and is just as much a gift as what you reveal to me.

I believe when we can relate to each other in this way, we not only handle the differences between us, but we can enjoy them.

Violence has no place when we approach each other as human beings.

Do we REALLY see people

Apr 21st, 2009
by ianpeatey.
16 comments

In a typical day I probably see about 100 people. Most of them I pass by on the street with hardly a glance. Family and friends get more of my attention, but even if I’m close, intimate or loving it still scratches the surface of who they are as human beings.

Rarely do I take the time to REALLY see them.

I believe that one of the roots of violence, physical or emotional, is when I fail to see others as human beings. It’s impossible for me intentionally to hurt another person when I’m in an authentic connection with them and fully in touch with our shared humanity.

When I can REALLY see people, hurting them is the same as hurting myself.

And loving them is the same as loving myself.

I REALLY see another person when I …

… look deeply and gently into their eyes and remind myself this could just be the last time I ever see them.

… take this moment as an opportunity to explore their uniqueness: they are one of a kind and there are no others exactly the same as this one.

… feel their power, the vast, untapped potential and future possibilities existing there.

… open myself to receive the gifts they have to offer me and to the world.

… marvel at the wisdom and resources they possess, maybe without even being aware of it themselves.

… connect to my desire for this person to be truly happy, peaceful, safe, courageous, fearless … loving and loved.

… hold this person in the universal kindness available to all of us.

… touch the pain this person has suffered on their journey through life: the suffering, disappointments, failures, losses and hurts that are part of living.

… am with this person without any desire to fix them, change them, solve their problems or take any of their history from them.

… face their accumulated scars with respect and reverence, knowing they are nothing to be afraid of but signs of what brought them to me in this precise moment.

… hold them in the great compassion available to us all.

… bask in the love behind those eyes and accept that unconditional love flowing through them and around them.

… imagine, without expectation, what we could achieve together if we joined forces and what wonders we could create with our combined skills, wisdom, love and strength.

… smile at the fun and joy we could share if we so chose.

… connect to our common humanity and the vast web of life from where we both came and to where we will both return.

Do we REALLY see the people in front of us?