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Vegetarian Living – One Year On

One year ago I stopped eating meat of any kind which was a pretty big step for me. Even bigger is that I’ve kept it up and now the idea of eating meat is just repugnant to me.

That’s quite something coming from a person who has a very limited track record of sticking to anything for long. It’s also from someone who was an avid and enthusiastic carnivore until this time last year.

I wrote an article last year about some of the benefits I’d noticed (‘6 Reasons Eating Vegetarian Food Is Best‘) and I thought it about time to update that and add in some new insights now the novelty has worn off.

1. Less Sleep

This was something I noticed almost immediately and it surprised me – cutting out meat seems to have reduced the amount of sleep I need. Initially this was 90 minutes a night but it seems to have stabilised to around an hour. Even so, this is a huge benefit for me and means I can either enjoy a slow winding up for the day or simply get more done.

When I wrote about this before some people reacted that it was probably something else I did that caused it. Obviously I can’t scientifically prove that cutting meat means less sleep and I know we all work differently on a physical level. Intuitively, I’m sure it was the cause and that’s good enough for me.

2.  Feeling Healthier

Gone are the days of an unpleasant heavy sensation in my stomach after a big meat meal. I remember it felt as though I’d swallowed a big ball of flesh that my stomach was having a hard time to digest. I find it hard to over-eat on a staple of veggies, rice, dairy and pulses. I guess it’s that they’re bulkier and fill the stomach faster.

I just feel better in my body most of the time.

I’ve stopped during the winter months, but over the summer I felt like exercising daily – something I’ve not done for many years. I’m pretty sure my running shoes will see the daylight again once the temperature rises and I can safely jog without risking a heart attack from the biting cold.

Actually I don’t think this is anything to do with a vegetarian diet being physically any healthier. It’s more that my mental health is improved – as if the act of stopping meat was cleansing in itself.

3.  Saving Money

Meat is definitely more expensive – both at home and eating out – and I’ve saved some money on grocery bills. I’ve also substituted some of those savings to buy organic and ecological where possible. I find it sad and frustrating that non-mass-produced food is so much more expensive than factory-made but that’s one of the wonderful results of capitalism and the market economy!

Ideally, I’d love to grow and eat some of my own food but that will have to wait until I move out of the city and into the countryside and have some land to use. For now, all food is bought and with another mouth to feed any day now, the small savings of a vegetarian diet are very welcome.

4.  Speed versus Choice

Cutting out a whole food group clearly has consequences on the amount of choice when deciding what to eat. I eat out less than I used to and the smaller number of options on most menus is one of the reasons. I’m not complaining but just noticing it. On one hand it’s a logical consequence of not eating meat and, by definition, there’s always going to be less choice for me in any non-vegetarian restaurant.

Eastern Europe (and not only) does not cater well to those who don’t eat flesh. Restaurants catering for vegetarians are extremely rare and on a typical restaurant menu I estimate around 95% of non-sweet dishes contain meat. That saves me a lot of time when choosing from a menu but makes it far less enjoyable to eat out.

5.  More Highly Evolved

This one is hard for me and a constant struggle.

I noticed it right away, I fight it, I’m not proud of it … but I have caught myself looking down on meat eaters as less evolved human beings. It comes out as smugness, snide and unpleasant comments to family and friends as well as holding my head a little higher as I come out of the organic shop with my latest healthy purchase.

That sounds absolutely terrible, doesn’t it?

And it is.

I hope this is a passing ‘obnoxious’ phase as I fully develop into, and own, being a non-meat eater. Most of my family and friends eat meat. In fact, the majority of the human race eats meat and I really do respect whatever dietary choices people choose. At the same time I can’t shake this idea that myself I’m now more developed than I was as a meat eater.

I just wish I didn’t take it further and make the leap that I’m superior to others. That’s just arrogant and wrong!

6.  I am NOT ‘A Vegetarian’

When people notice that I don’t have any meat on my plate I’m quite often asked, ‘Are you a vegetarian?’ as though it’s some strange and mysterious breed of creature.

Often I just answer ‘yes’ because I’m too lazy to explain but I really don’t like being labelled for anything – relating to what I eat is no exception. There’s no label for ‘meat eater’ (well, except for ‘meat eater’) so why have one for people who don’t eat meat? Lumping large numbers of people together in a single unified category is dangerous and doesn’t get us anywhere.

I once worked in a very posh training centre close to Brussels. They had a professional chef who was very good and took great pride in his cooking. He also had a belief that ‘vegetarians’ are crazy, stupid and a sure sign of the decay of the modern world. He reluctantly catered for them, but I was always a little nervous that he might poison them. I’ve no doubt that some ‘vegetarians’ are crazy and stupid, but then some meat eaters are not well balanced either.

7.  Separate Meals

While I may hold this belief that giving up meat was a positive step in my personal development, I’m not so arrogant to impose that on anyone else. I regard it as a personal choice and I continue to serve meat for other people (mainly my kids and Mona).

I also don’t expect anyone to prepare something special for me when we socialise. I’m quite ok to eat what everyone else is eating – just skipping the meat dishes. I’m fortunate that all my family are very supportive and go out of their way to prepare special veggie meals when I visit, and I’m really grateful for and touched by that.

Mona gave up meat at the same time I did, but her pregnancy kind of sabotaged that. I’m not saying that vegetarianism and pregnancy don’t go together – but she did succumb to a craving for fish and a little meat. We both believe that our bodies give us clear signs about what we’re missing, and she took the cravings as just that. I also spend a lot of time as single father to my 6 year old and I prepare meat for her.

I guess if my vegetarianism was morally driven then I’d not do that, but it’s not, so I do.

The downside, of course, is extra complexity, waste and more energy consumption in preparing meals. I sometimes wonder if it’s just pure self indulgence on my side but then I look at the bigger picture of my life and I stay with it.

8.  Do I Miss Anything?

I’ve not had any desire to eat meat from mammals.

I did pass a grill in the summer and enjoyed the smell of cooking meat – but not enough to actually eat it. I feel very comfortable with the thought that I’ll never eat cow, pig, sheep or chicken again before I die.

I do miss fish and seafood, though, and in particular sushi.

Not sure how that will play out this year and I’m just going to see where that takes me. I know from past experience that the more I fight something, the greater power I give it. Fortunately Mona doesn’t like seafood at all, so we never buy it.

It could just be a passing phase – or I may start eating a little fish now and then.

Overall this year has been a very positive experience and if anyone is thinking about stopping meat I highly recommend you give it a try.

Snowflake or Compost?

You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake.  You are the same decaying organic matter as everyone else, and we are all part of the same compost pile.

Chuck Palahniuk Fight Club

This quote from Fight Club seemed quite apt given that it’s been snowing here all weekend and all the unique and beautiful snowflakes are piled into great mountains on the roads and footpaths.

This is the view from my window (just to add a small personal touch!).

Are we unique snowflakes or part of the same compost pile?

Yes and yes.

I doubt there’s anyone who’s not been mesmerised by snow at some point in their lives. I grew up in the South of England where snow is rather uncommon and it still inspires the small child in me to play or enjoy a day off school work.

It’s less unusual in Poland and Romania where I now live. Even so, with the heavy falls over the last days in Warsaw, I got to wondering if it’s true that no two flakes are identical.

Is each snowflake really unique, as is commonly believed?

Snow – a short history

Each flake is formed from the same building blocks – i.e. water molecules. When the conditions (mainly temperature and humidity) are right, the molecules crystallise into ice.

Molecules, as I’m sure you know, are very, very small which means there are very, very many in each flake of snow – making the possible number of shapes and sizes enormous.

Because of the structure of the water molecule, it takes on a shape based on the number three – most commonly a 6-sided figure. Theoretically, two snowflakes could end up identical, but it’s highly unlikely because each flake travels it’s own unique path – even flakes travelling together will deviate slightly as their paths are not precisely the same.

The precise shape is affected by atmospheric conditions as each forming snow flake starts it’s long journey from the heavens to the earth. It passes through different conditions as it moves downwards, all of which determine how the crystal develops.

It will also be influenced by impurities (dust for example) it collects on the way until finally it lands on earth, almost certainly unnoticed by anyone.

Those we do take the time to examine are quite wonderful examples of the miracle of nature.

Ultimately of course, it will decompose into either ice or water – its essence joining the huge body of water making up around two thirds of the planet’s surface. How long they last and how much they’ll be noticed, is determined by where they land.

Is any of this so very different from our journey as human beings?

And finally … the largest recorded snowflake measured 38cm (15 inches). You could almost make a whole snow-person from that!

Compassionate Business

Much of the first part of my adult life was spent in and around business, including one of the largest professional firms in the world (it’s also one with, I think, the longest name in the professional world). I learned a huge amount and was a great period of my life. But ultimately there was something missing and it took me a long time to figure out what it was.

I still spend a lot of time around business people and I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve heard them tell me they cannot be fully themselves at work, because that’s just not how business operates. I’ve heard so many laments about the work place lacking authenticity, compassion and love.

In short, the full range of humanity is rarely encouraged in the corporate world.

In ‘Heart of Business‘ I explored what might be some of the factors behind this and then I got to wondering in more detail what might a ‘compassionate business‘ look like?

Here’s what I came up with and I’d really like to hear your thoughts on it.

1   Purpose

A compassionate business is clear about its purpose and how it peacefully contributes to the world. Its actions are always informed by and measured against this.

Ask many people what’s the purpose of the business they work in and most will reply ‘making money’.

I just don’t believe it – it’s a myth we’ve grown up with. Many businesses have sadly lost sight of their purpose and how their existence benefits mankind as a whole. They’ve come to believe that it’s all about money.

Every successful and sustainable organisation has a purpose – a reason to exist – beyond the profit motive. If making money is truly the only purpose then I don’t believe a business will survive long. It’s just not possible to fool enough people for long enough that they’re getting something of value when they’re not. Sure, it’s possible to trick people long enough to make some quick money (maybe even a lot of it) but really, what’s the point?

It’s all about making the world a better place. It might be hard to find and may take some digging around, but I believe it’s there, lurking under the day to day pressures to bring in revenue and cut costs.

Long term success can only come when a business exists to provide value, makes people’s lives better, and serves some human needs without being at the cost of others. And if the business as a whole is crystal clear about it, then the day to day work itself becomes far more meaningful for those working inside.

2   Decision making

A compassionate business involves people in decisions that affect them.

For me it’s a fundamental human need to be involved and heard in decisions that have an impact on me. It’s one of the foundations of the democratic tradition many of us hold so dear.

Yet we’ve got used to being told what to do and to allow others to make decisions for us.

Dependency has no real place in the life of a mature adult. We expect to have a say in many areas of our lives yet put up with the opposite in much of our working lives. I think it’s habit and largely a relic from our childhood when we relied on our parents to decide (even then we didn’t like it much of the time). It appears in business as the myth of ‘boss knows best’.

Many businesses make some attempt to involve workers in the name of ‘empowerment’ or other such things. A compassionate business will open up decision making all the way and include all those affected by a decision. It doesn’t mean that decisions won’t be delegated, it doesn’t mean that difficult decisions will be avoided but it will mean the basic desire we all have for control over the direction of our lives will be honoured.

3   Hierarchy

A compassionate business will value equally each and every employee. Structure will be used purely as a functional tool to help order complexity.

I think we all want to be treated as human beings – with respect, understanding and an appreciation for the unique contribution we each make to the world.

In many organisations people carry a label and a place in a hierarchical structure. Often they get seen for position first and for their humanity second. The functional need for structure often gets mixed up with the ego desire for status and power.

The organisation I worked for was more human friendly than most. Even so I was treated very differently when my label changed (because of promotion) from ‘Manager’ to ‘Senior Manager’. My voice was listened to more, I had greater privileges, more money, involved in more confidential matters and more highly respected. I felt that I was more valuable and important – and was treated that way – yet I was exactly the same person. All that changed was one word attached to my name.

A label does give some indication of experience and breadth of perspective. ‘Senior’ indicated I had more of the big picture, was less involved in day to day affairs and internally could make more expensive decisions. It didn’t make me – Ian Peatey – more important or valuable as a human being.

A compassionate business will not only recognise people according to their experience, capability and breadth or depth of view – but value them equally as human beings. Hierarchy will be minimal and used solely for ordering the complex web of relationships and organisation.

4   Duties and Responsibilities

Things will only be done in a compassionate business if they serve a purpose, add value to the world and are done willingly and freely.

Most businesses operate around roles and job descriptions. If you do what your boss tells you, carry out your duties, fulfil your tasks and meet your goals then you’ll get paid. Do it consistently and you might even get promoted.

There’s little room in most workplaces to freely decide if you want to do something or not. In turn that probably means many activities are not done ‘willingly’ but done because ‘that’s what the job requires‘.

I often hear ‘ … but there are some things that just have to be done. If you give freedom to people then nothing will get done.

I have two responses to this.

First, yes, there are some things that need to be done that are not enjoyable. But most of us seem to manage quite well outside work to attend to these kind of things quickly and efficiently.

Second, I wonder how many of these things that are effectively ‘forced’ at work, are in fact serving life. My experience was many things I did were to feed the egos of those higher in the organisation or, more likely, were just a waste of time.

A compassionate business will liberate it’s workers from the ‘duty and responsibility’ mindset and will cull all activities that do not contribute directly to fulfilling the purpose of the business.

5   Competition

A compassionate business will compete to be the best that it can, respecting and valuing those with whom it competes.

Competition can be a wonderfully creative force to improve performance. It can also be a terribly destructive force.

As I see it, the key differentiation is the attitude I take towards my competitor. Destructive competition channels energy into winning whatever the cost and irrespective of the consequences. Winning is about beating the competition – making ‘the enemy’ lose.

There’s another approach to competition which is about channelling the energy into being the best I can. I use my competitor to help me measure how good I am and to raise my own game beyond what I would do on my own. Winning is about performing better than I did yesterday. It’s respectful to my competitor as an ally not as an enemy.

What have been your experiences in business?

Are there compassionate businesses out there or is it all cut and thrust?

We think too much and feel too little

We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each other’s happiness – not by each other’s misery. We don’t want to hate and despise one another. In this world there’s room for everyone and the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone.

The way of life can be free and beautiful, but we have lost the way.

Greed has poisoned men’s souls – has barricaded the world with hate – has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed. We have developed speed, but we have shut ourselves in. Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge has made us cynical; our cleverness, hard and unkind.

We think too much and feel too little.

More than machinery we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness.

Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost.

The aeroplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in man – cries for universal brotherhood – for the unity of us all. Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world – millions of despairing men, women, and little children – victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people.

To those who can hear me, I say: ‘Do not despair.’ The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed – the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people.

And so long as men die, liberty will never perish.

Charlie ChaplinThe Great Dictator‘ 1940

Recently I watched the ‘The Great Dictator‘ for the first time.

I know some rate it as one of the cinema ‘greats, but frankly I almost fell asleep! As a slice of history, though, it’s a superb film to watch. Chaplin said that he wouldn’t have made the film if he’d known about the concentration camps. He made it in 1940 before the world had discovered the terrible fate of so many.

At the end of the film Chaplin makes a long speech which somehow struck a chord with me. It seems to be one of those timeless speeches that could apply as much today as it did in 1940. The technology has changed a little, the players on the world stage have changed, but it still carries a powerful message for us.

And today, of all days, is one when we remember with terrible clarity what human beings are capable of when they forget these things.

The beauty of differences

With approximately 6 billion unique people living on this planet, there’s a lot of difference. No other person experiences the world exactly as I do. They all see it, hear it and think about it differently. They all have different tastes, preferences, dreams, aspirations, motivations, beliefs … the list is endless.

crowded-mall

Enjoying this infinite array of difference can be delightful and a wonderful challenge.

I’d like to live my life enjoying and celebrating ALL those differences. Not only with those who think and act a little different from me but also those who are polar opposites. The further away someone is, the greater the opportunity for mutual learning and enjoyment – and the greater the gap between us I need to handle.

If I don’t have an appropriate attitude and skills, even small differences can be a major headache as I interact, communicate, work and live with others.

More than that, I believe our collective lack of these attitudes and skills is at the root of much of the violence in the world. Consider a ‘terrorist’ bombing, an invading army, a mugging on the street, a wife beating. Often they are not caused by differences or by some pathology but rather by our failure to handle difference peacefully.

Attitudes to difference

If I see the world as basically divided into ‘good/bad’ or ‘right/wrong’ then I’m going to have a hard time coping with anything that deviates from my way of thinking. I will use my energy to turn the ‘bad’ into ‘good’ and to correct the mistakes of those who are ‘wrong’.

In this view of the world difference is a threat and I tend to be repulsed by it.

Even if I’m open-minded enough to be persuaded to change my mind from time to time, this ‘either/or’ thinking puts my energy into division and separation. In order to change my mind (or behaviour) it is up to you to present me with substantial enough evidence for me to convert. Or perhaps I’ll put my energy into trying to change you, maybe even by force if necessary.

Take skin colour as an example.

In polarised thinking I might determine my skin colour to be ‘good’ and other colours ‘bad’. The further away your skin colour from mine, the more ‘bad’ you are and, while I might not try to change your skin colour, I might value you less highly and avoid or marginalise you.

Clearly this is a crazy attitude, but crazy seems to be very common!

I believe an important step is to change my polarised, static thinking into something that flows and to recognise that in most things there is a continuum and there is variety.

People are not black or white, but represent a whole rainbow of colour, and not just in skin pigmentation!

If I’m curious, every difference represents an addition to my experience and a chance to add something to my understanding of the human condition. I may be horrified, afraid or disgusted by it, but that’s a strong indicator that the gap is wide and the potential for learning huge.

In this view of the world, difference is welcome and I’m attracted to it.

Skills of handling difference

I don’t think there is any mysterious skill involved and it’s within all of us and is easily learned and refined.

Consider those people who seem naturally at ease with the variations in the people around them. I believe they are skilled in 4 basic areas:

  • Finding common ground

Despite the multitude ways we differ from each other, at the core we’re the same. We’re made of the same material, are physically designed to a similar blueprint and we share the same universal needs. We drink the same water, breathe the same air and eat food. And we all need love with it’s myriad manifestations.

While I may not find common ground in our thinking, beliefs or preferences, I can always find common ground in our shared humanity.

  • Enquiry

Asking questions from an enquiring mind gives you an opportunity to share your inner world with me. Enquiring questions are open (what? how?) and short and explore rather than interrogate.

  • Listening

Fully listening not only to your words, but to the deeper currents of emotions and values. So called ‘active listening’ can be faked but not sustained. The highest levels of listening are an invitation to you to open up. It is a gift of my attention and space where I cherish your experience and life energy.

  • Expressing

Sharing what is alive in me, my vulnerabilities, my joys and the journey of my life gives you a chance to learn from me. It builds trust and mutual connection and is just as much a gift as what you reveal to me.

I believe when we can relate to each other in this way, we not only handle the differences between us, but we can enjoy them.

Violence has no place when we approach each other as human beings.