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Dear Passport Ladies

Jun 18th, 2010
by ianpeatey.
1 comment

This week I Mona and I needed to get Sara her first passport. We opted for a temporary passport because it’s faster and we didn’t need to go with her to the passport office – these government establishments are not known for their child-friendliness and comfort (not in Romania anyway).

A picture was all we needed to take (see above!!!), make some declarations and collect the passport later that same day.

A Passport Story

Several hours we waited in a hot, crowded hallway with no sign of even rudimentary organisation such as a queue (yes, we British love to queue!). Eventually we were sitting in front of a uniformed lady who checked our documents and entered some details into the computer.

Then she passed me a form to sign and told me to write a declaration that I agreed, as a British citizen, for Sara to be issued with a Romanian passport.

No problem.

Except she wanted the declaration in Romanian – a language I know virtually nothing about.

The solution was easy, Mona wrote out the sentence and I copied it onto the form. I had a few challenges with Mona’s handwriting but managed to reproduce it to the satisfaction of the passport-issuing-lady. She told us to go to a different office in 2 hours to collect the passport.

I’ve learned over the years that most bureaucratic institutions are based on a platform of form filling and neatly segregated into jobs inhabited by people who rarely communicate with one another. As an example, we needed to make three small payments for the passport with each paid to a separate segment of the civil service. Each segment operated a separate bank account, each with a different banks. This meant trips to the three banks with no chance of one-stop banking as we needed the proof of payment stamped by each of the three banks.

As you can maybe tell, I was building up a picture in my mind of a highly inefficient, illogical and confusing system designed to make things as difficult as possible for the average person. Kafka’s writing come alive!

A Story Of Stupidity …

Final part of the story.

Back to collect the passport at the appointed hour and more confusion, still no queues, still crowds of people and still very hot.

Two hours after the appointed time we’re called to the front to face the passport- issuing-officer, a slightly rotund lady in a crisp uniform. Beside her is another lady telling us that the declaration (the one I wrote out in my very best Romanian) was incomplete and I need to add a sentence stating that I both speak and write Romanian fluently.

Hmmmm!

Mona stands next to me and spells out letter by letter what I need to write down with me following her instructions as best I can, feeling not a little intimidated by the massed crowd watching every stroke of the pen, to say nothing of the two officials not half a metre in front of me.

We hand over the form and receive our passport in exchange and I’m almost hysterical inside at the craziness of the system and the stupidity of these two people. It was obvious I didn’t know Romanian, yet here they were telling me to write a declaration we all knew to be false so they had their precious forms completed correctly.

I left the place intent on telling everyone how stupid these people are.

But Who Was Being Stupid?

Last night I joint hosted our first discussion group as part of our LightWork initiative. The topic for the evening was ‘How to make space for Kindness at work’. Half way through the discussion I suddenly realised something.

Those ladies in the passport office were not stupid at all.

What they did was to offer an act of kindness in turning a blind eye to my language deficiency. It was kindness to help us through the system so we could have our passport. It was kindness that pushed them to bend the rules which in many ways define their work. It was kindness that allowed them a simple human touch of understanding and generosity.

Without their kindness we would not yet have a passport for Sara. We would not be on our way today to the UK for Sara to visit her family there for the first time. We would be somewhat poorer after hiring a sworn translator, having everything translated for me at a notary office and having to change our flights to the UK.

And I missed it!

I interpreted this act of kindness as stupidity.

Who’s the stupid one?

An Apology

So dear passport-issuing-ladies.

I am deeply sad that I not only didn’t notice your act of kindness but that I went further and interpreted it so negatively. I would like you to know that I now see what happened more clearly and I am very grateful to you both.

And I want to apologise to all those people who have ever offered me an act of kindness I was too arrogant and stupid to see. I wish I could have noticed your beautiful act.

I am deeply embarrassed as I’m sure there are many of you out there.

Everything Turned Green

Jun 5th, 2010
by ianpeatey.
4 comments

In the park this morning I had a huge surprise. Everything had turned green!

It wasn’t the colour of the world that shocked me. After all, Spring started here a couple of months ago and that’s what tends to happen in the Spring, isn’t it? Especially late Spring!

Everything is supposed to turn green.

What shocked me was I could have sworn that yesterday the park was dead and grey with no green in sight.

Now I see at least two possible explanations for this.

1. A Miracle Happened

There could have been some miracle in the floral world whereby all the trees sprouted leaves overnight while my eyes were closed in sleep. I don’t discount this possibility, though my previous close observation of the plant world is things tend to happen a bit more slowly than that!

I do, however, believe in miracles so when I got home I carefully scanned the local news looking for some mention of this phenomena. Finding none I had no choice but to move to my second explanation.

2. Sleep Walking

It could be they had indeed sprouted leaves while I slept, and that I’d been sleeping for some days, maybe even weeks. Only this form of sleeping was with my eyes open and my mind and heart closed.

What Do I Fail To Notice?

It got me wondering how many other changes around me do I fail to notice because I’m either so wrapped up in other stuff or I’m just not taking the time to experience the world around me.

What changes in my children do I fail to notice?

My eldest daughter grew up. She transformed from a little girl into a grown woman of 18, not suddenly, but with many small delightful steps. My middle daughter turned 7 a couple of months ago – again, what have I missed?

What changes in myself?

Another year on and what have I experienced that passed straight through me because I wasn’t paying attention. I notice a few aches in my body to remind me I’m not getting any younger but I tend to assume those are passing things and nothing to do with the years of wear and tear on my physical form. What joys have I let go without fully putting myself into them?

What tears have I failed to shed because I was thinking about yesterday or tomorrow and forgetting that life is here and now in the small moments?

What world events out there have I not noticed?

And I’m not the only one. This may be a shallow example but I had a debate with Mona a couple of weeks ago about Bob Dylan, of all people. She was sure he had passed away and I was sure he hadn’t. Sorry, Bob if you’re reading this and I apologise for my wife writing you out of the world before your time. I heard many people were at your concert in Bucharest last week so I’m assuming I’m right on this occasion :)

Being Here v Being There

The point is how much we miss because we’re in other stuff.

Could we be better prepared for life if we open our eyes to the small changes? Could we prevent things that seem to happen in a moment, but in truth grow in front of us in small changes that eventually reach a tipping point so they seem like an event?

Things rarely happen suddenly – though that’s often how we perceive them.

Wars don’t start overnight – they build up. World poverty and hunger isn’t an event but a process. AIDS didn’t suddenly become a problem but has been around a long time. Volcanoes don’t just erupt – the tension in the earth builds bit by bit – unnoticed but that doesn’t mean it’s not happening. People rarely turn to crime on a whim (it happens, but it’s rare) but the seeds are sown long ago and we allow them to grow like weeds.

Once weeds have taken hold they are difficult to remove.

Are wars, crime, disease, poverty or climate change really in the hands of an individual who takes them over that tipping point or brings them to our attention?

Or are they in all our hands because we fail to notice them and take action by removing the weeds early on? Or worse – we do read the signs and leave it to others to do something about it?

And it’s not just the terrible things but the wonderful things happening around us each moment. Do we really appreciate and celebrate them moment by moment?

Has the world suddenly turned green or, more likely, has been turning for some time and I just didn’t notice?

Sting Of The Scorpion

Jan 19th, 2010
by ianpeatey.
14 comments

Scorpion wants to cross the river so approaches Crocodile to ask for a lift to the other side.

“Scorpion!“, replies Crocodile. “Do you think I’m crazy? I’ll get half way across the river and you’ll stab me with that sting of yours. I’m a crocodile, not an idiot.”

“Oh, Mr. Crocodile!” replies Scorpion. “I’m no idiot either. If I sting you in the middle of the river you’ll sink to the bottom and, as I can’t swim, I’ll surely drown! Now, I think you’ll agree that would be very idiotic of me to kill both of us. And … I promise not to sting you.”

Crocodile thinks about this for a moment, is swayed by the logic in what he hears and agrees to take Scorpion across the river. They set off, Scorpion safely nestled on his back.

In the middle of the river, Scorpion brings out his sting and stabs Crocodile in the neck. Crocodile turns his head to look at Scorpion and with his dying breathe asks,

“Why did you do that? We’re both going to die. It just doesn’t make any sense. And you promised!”

Scorpion shrugs his shoulders.

“It’s not my fault. Hey. I’m a scorpion and that’s what scorpions do.“

I was brought up on a staple diet of happy endings, so when I first heard this ancient fable, I was shocked. How could the scorpion do that? What kind of cruel, dark world does this point to? Are we really trapped by some pre-determined programming – and if so, what is it?

There are many things in this story. Trust, the irrationality of behaviour, the occasional cruelty of life. There’s one area, though, I’m going to focus on here.

Trapped By Our Nature?

The one that strikes me most is how much violence is justified by thinking we’re trapped by some pre-determined programming. At the most obvious level it’s the commonly held belief that we’re by nature violent hunters. I don’t want to tread on worn ground here … but, come on! Just look at our bodies. Where are the vicious claws or the hunter’s teeth?

Even if we were pre-programmed towards violence, rather than peace, it doesn’t mean we have no choice.

We’re not like the scorpion, no matter how comforting it might be to hide behind this. It’s comforting because if we’re fulfilling some pre-formed conditioning then we don’t have to take responsibility for our actions. The scorpion shrugs his shoulders and says, “It’s not my fault. I’m not responsible for stabbing you.”

I’m reminded of those horrific situations where ‘terrorists’ take hostages and issue demands, threatening to harm the captives if they’re not met. It’s usually followed (at least in Hollywood movies) by some comment like, “If you don’t meet our demands, the hostage’s blood will be on your hands. It will be your fault if we kill them.”

The unspoken assumption is , “Hey ! We’re ‘terrorists’ and that’s what ‘terrorists’ do. IT’S NOT OUR FAULT.”

Give me a break!

Our genes and our upbringing no doubt shape us, but at a certain point we have to take responsibility for our lives and our behaviour.

“My mother didn’t love me enough. My father was never around. I went to a bad school,” might work up to the age of sixteen (maybe a bit later for some). As an adult they’re feeble excuses for not making different choices about what we do.

[I know my Mum reads this from time to time, so Mum - these comments are not mine and they're not directed at you or Dad.]

Day to Day Identification

If I’m honest I often unconsciously identify myself with something and then act out from that identification. When I’m unaware then it’s hard to do something about it, difficult to recognise I have a choice.

One reason I’m passionate about self-development is that it helps bring those hidden things into the light. It helps me identify when my scorpion sting is busy wreaking havoc with my life.

When I’m aware, I have more capacity to choose the actions that make life better for myself and those around me. It’s a long and sometimes rocky road and one without a particular destination other than a desire to make a positive contribution to the world.

A couple of examples I noticed over the last years:

  • I’m an introvert – which I use to justify withdrawing from the world, closing down from time to time with even those people closest to me, and avoiding social situations like the plague.

The sting? Depression, loneliness, loss of friendships, lethargy … and it’s confusing, frustrating and worrying for people in my life.

  • I’m a man – which justifies a whole range of ‘manly’ things such as using logic in emotional situations, an almost obsessive desire to fix things and a refusal to ask for directions even when hopelessly lost.

The sting? Trouble dealing with the inherent messiness of life and relating to emotionally charged situations … and again it’s frustrating and disconnecting for others (especially the females in my life).

Noticing these things doesn’t necessarily change what I do but it does make my actions conscious and I’m more likely to manage the fall-out. For example, I still withdraw – but it’s a conscious choice and I can communicate to those around me that I need my space right now rather than mysteriously disappearing.

I take the venom out of the scorpion sting.

I don’t drown and those around me don’t get poisoned.

We all make it safely to other side.

What do you identify with and act out?

What difference would it make to you and others if you did so consciously?

PS I forgot to mention that my star sign is Scorpio. If I ever sting you then please forgive me … it’s just the way I am ;-)

10 Books That Shook My World

Nov 7th, 2009
by ianpeatey.
76 comments

Books are an important part of my life and I read a lot, though not as much as I’d like. A few rare books I wish I hadn’t bothered with, but mostly I’m selective about what I buy and rely on recommendations from those I trust.

From time to time I read a book that changes my life in a big way.

339265_old_books

These are the ten inspirational books that changed my life – in more or less the order they came into my hands.

It’s a uniquely personal list and I’m certain your own list would be very different.

I’m not saying these are all great works, or suggesting they would change your life as they did mine – each came and spoke to me at a particular time and place. If they’d come at another moment in my life, they would have joined the category of ‘interesting, useful or inspiring’ but not made it to this top category of ‘books that changed my life’.

With each I’ve provided a summary (adapted from various sources) as well as my favourite quote and a link to Amazon if you want know more (or even buy it).

1 Jane Eyre   (Charlotte Brontë)9780141441146

I read this in my late teens and, after being an avid reader as a child, had almost given up on books for the lure of the TV screen. It was this novel that got me interested in reading again. I touched for the first time how storytelling can pull you in and take you on an emotional ride.

For those who assume it’s a ‘girl’s book’ I can tell you I lent it to a friend at the time. He was from a mining town in the North of England and there was definitely nothing ‘girlie’ about him. The book made him cry.

In brief

Partly autobiographical, the novel goes through five stages of Jane’s life: her childhood, where she’s emotionally abused by her aunt and cousins; her education, which is tough but where she makes friends; her time as the governess of a Manor, where she falls in love with Rochester, her employer; her time with the Rivers family, where her cousin proposes to her; and her reunion with and marriage to Rochester.

Favourite quote

Prejudices, it is well known, are most difficult to eradicate from the heart whose soil has never been loosened or fertilised by education: they grow there, firm as weeds among stones.

‘Jane Eyre’ at Amazon US or Amazon UK

2    Grapes Of Wrath   (John Steinbeck)9780140292923

I remember reading the last page and not being able to move or speak for what seemed like hours. It was my first glimpse of what terrible things we can do to each other and yet still impossible to quash the bright spark of humanity. I still find the final page emotionally devastating.

In brief

Set during the Great Depression, the novel focuses on a poor family of share-croppers, the Joads, driven from their Oklahoma home by drought, economic hardship, and changes in the agriculture industry. In a desperate situation, they set out for California along with thousands of other “Okies” in search of land and jobs.

Favourite quote

How can you frighten a man whose hunger is not only in his own cramped stomach but in the wretched bellies of his children? You can’t scare him – he has known a fear beyond every other.

‘Grapes of Wrath’ at Amazon US or Amazon UK

3   The Alchemist   (Paolo Coelho)9780722532935

It came to me at a time when I was searching all over the place for peace and happiness in my life. Everything seemed a struggle as my focus was ‘over there’ and definitely not in the places I was and the people I was with.

It was this book that opened my eyes to a wealth of literary treasures coming out of South America as well as relating some of my own life through a beautiful fable.

In brief

Tells the story of a young shepherd named Santiago who finds a treasure beyond his wildest dreams. Along the way, he learns to listen to his heart and, more importantly, realizes that his dreams, or his Personal Legend, are not just his but part of the Soul of the Universe.

Favourite quote

When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.

‘The Alchemist’ at Amazon US or Amazon UK

4   Loving What Is (Byron Katie)9780712629300

I first heard about Byron Katie from a friend who was very enthusiastic about her Work, so I bought the book. I was still fighting with the reality of how I’d constructed my life and using the method in this book took away all that stress and anguish (well most of it).

If you’ve not come across the Work before then there are several great videos on YouTube.

In brief

The basis of the book is a series of four questions addressed to your assumptions. Starting with, “Is it true?” and continuing with explorations of “Who would you be without that thought?” the method aims to get through unhelpful preconceptions and find peace. An integral part of the process is “turning the thought around,” where you’ll find an acceptance of reality, beyond questions of fault and blame.

Favourite quote

I realized that it’s insane to oppose it. When I argue with reality, I lose—but only 100% of the time. How do I know that the wind should blow? It’s blowing!

‘Loving What Is’ at Amazon US or Amazon UK

5   A Brief History of Everything   (Ken Wilber)9780717132331

Not an easy read at all – even for someone as intelligent as me (haha). I read it at a time when I was looking for my own understanding of spirituality and my place in the universe. It didn’t give me an answer to that question but did give me a new way of looking at the universe that has been incredibly supportive in my search.

It’s one of the few books that pushed me to the limit of my mental capacity.

In brief

Wilber examines the course of evolution as the unfolding manifestation of Spirit, from matter to life to mind, including the higher stages of spiritual evolution, when Spirit becomes conscious of itself. In each of these domains of evolution, he finds recurring patterns, and by looking at these patterns, learn much about the predicament of our world and the direction humanity must take if global transformation is to become a reality

Favourite quote

I don’t mean to be crude, but it appears that testosterone basically has two, and only two, major drives: f*** it or kill it.

‘A Brief History Of Everything’ at Amazon US or Amazon UK

6   Long Walk To Freedom     (Nelson Mandela)9780349106533

I grew up believing the media line that, while apartheid was a monstrous invention, Mandela was a terrorist and should be in prison. From a historical point of view this was probably because the British government was refusing to have anything to do with the IRA and so were nervous of any attempt to turn freedom fighters, guerillas or terrorists into heroes. Mandela became one of my heroes.

This book inspired me to see that non-violent struggle is the only way to lasting social change, and that the media, no matter how much freedom of speech I have, is an extension of the State.

In brief

Nelson Mandela’s autobiography describing his early life, coming of age, education and 27 years in prison. The last chapters of the book describe his political ascension, and his belief that the struggle continues against apartheid in South Africa.

Favourite quote

No one truly knows a nation until one has been inside its jails. A nation should not be judged by how it treats its highest citizens but its lowest ones.

‘Long Walk To Freedom’ at Amazon US or Amazon UK

7   The Power Of Now     (Eckhart Tolle)9780340733509

I find it hard to explain why this had such an impact on me – I hardly remember the details of the book at all. I can picture, however, exactly where I was when I was reading it – down to the details of what I was eating, smelling, experiencing. Somehow it brought me into the present (the Now) in a very subtle but powerful way. It stays with me to this day.

In brief

Living in the now is the truest path to happiness and enlightenment. (I told you I couldn’t remember much about the content!)

Favourite quote

You can always cope with the now, but you can never cope with the future – nor do you have to. The answer, the strength, the right action or the resource will be there when you need it, not before, not after.

‘The Power Of Now’ at Amazon US or Amazon UK

8   No Logo    (Naomi Klein)9780006530404

I love books that my challenge my view of the world and this one turned it upside down. I’d grown up in the corporate world and never considered what might lay under the surface. This opened my eyes in a way that I can never close them again. It made me much more conscious of the impact of the corporate takeover of the world and my role in it.

In brief

Builds an angry and funny case against branding in general and several large North American companies in particular, notably Gap, Microsoft and Starbucks. What should be a time of consumer choice and interactive communication has not materialized. Instead, huge corporations treat the world as a giant marketing opportunity. These companies have harmed culture and workers both in the Developing World and at home.

Favourite quote

There are already ads on benches in national parks as well as on library cards in public libraries, and in December 1998 NASA announced plans to solicit ads on its space stations. Pepsi’s ongoing threat to project its logo onto the moon’s surface hasn’t yet materialized…

‘No Logo’ at Amazon US or Amazon UK

9   The Prophet    (Kahlil Gibran)9780330319720

Beautiful, lyrical and wise. I learned many things from this book, and I think the verses on children are the ones I find most powerful. On every line of every page there’s a treat to be relished and savoured and it’s the one book I recommend everyone to read.

So read it.

In brief

Essentially a work of spiritual poetry, it contains Gibran’s philosophy on major concepts in human life, such as love, joy, self-knowledge, freedom, Law, religion, and reason.

Favourite quote

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.

‘The Prophet’ at Amazon US or Amazon UK

10   Maturity     (Osho)9780312205614

Osho is something of a mystery to me. Spiritual teacher owning a large fleet of Rolls Royce’s and deported from the USA – yet some of his writings are amazing. This is the one that spoke to me and I read this as I was coming up to 45 (one of the transition markers) and it helped me understand many of the things that I’d been working with during what might be described as my mid-life crisis. I probably wouldn’t have started this blog if it hadn’t been for this book.

In brief

Osho takes us back to the roots of what it means to grow up rather than just to grow old and explores the benefits in accepting the ageing process as natural, rather than trying to hold on to youth . Both in our relationships with others, and in the fulfilment of our own individual destinies, he reminds us of the pleasures that only true maturity can bring. He outlines the ten major growth cycles in human life, from the self-centred universe of the preschooler to the flowering of wisdom and compassion in old age.

Favourite quote

Listen to your being. It is continuously giving you hints; it is a still, small voice. It does not shout at you, that is true. And if you are a little silent you will start feeling your way.

‘Maturity’ at Amazon US or Amazon UK

Notes about Amazon

1 I’m currently working on setting up an Amazon aStore to replace the box on the right (which I don’t much like). I’m going to put in one place all the books I recommend and I’m hoping it will be a useful addition to the site.

2 I personally use Amazon a lot as I find them reliable, easy to use and I enjoy the reviews and information they give. I also have an Affiliate account with them (as do many bloggers). Obviously I recommend you read these books – and if you choose to buy after clicking the links then I get a small commission from Amazon (in fact, the commission covers your entire order – not only from the books above).

I understand if that’s not OK with you – in which case don’t buy through the links above!

The Secret Of Happiness

Sep 28th, 2009
by ianpeatey.
28 comments

Plenty of people claim to know the secret of happiness. They sell books about it, run seminars and some even get rich by revealing it. If I knew the secret to happiness then maybe even I could make a small fortune, catapulting this site to the top and making me famous.

happy_puzzle

As you probably guessed, I don’t have the secret to happiness. It’s not because I don’t know what it is but because there is no secret to happiness.

That’s right.

No secret.

“But what about all those gurus who claim to know what it is? Surely they must know something? After all people pay good money for their books, CD’s and workshops.”

I hate to be the one to tell you (don’t shoot the messenger, ok?) – but they are teaching you something you already know. They are packaging what we all possess and selling it back to you. They certainly know something, and it’s not the secret to happiness!

What is happiness?

I think it’s important to be really clear about this because I hear many people say their goal in life is to be happy or to achieve a state of happiness.

Happiness is ‘the state of being happy’, but what does that mean?

Happy is a feeling and conveys a wide range of emotional experiences including joy, contentment, elation, bliss and pleasure. We can feel many shades of happy, but we can’t be happy. This is important because if we’re striving for some permanent state of feeling happy we’ll never reach it. Best to recognise that right from the outset!

Realising that ‘happy’ is a feeling is incredibly liberating. Feelings come and go. It’s part of the human experience. To believe we can reach a state where we only feel one thing is to believe we can exclude all those other transitory emotions. It’s to believe we can become something less than human.

Feeling happy is wonderful. We all enjoy it and many of us would like to feel it more often. I think that’s what we mean when we say we’re searching for happiness. Not that we want to achieve some permanent happy high, but we want more of the feeling in our lives.

And there really is no secret to it.

Each of us has felt happy at times. We know what it feels like and we know the things that stimulate the feeling. We don’t need any secrets to be revealed. Every single one of us already knows how to feel happy.

Feeling ‘not-happy’

956734_desolationThere are times for feeling happy and there are times for feeling something else that’s not-happy.

  • If I experience a loss in my life, that’s a time for mourning and feeling sad
  • If my safety is threatened, that’s a time for feeling afraid
  • If I make a mistake and someone gets hurt, that’s a time for feeling upset or ashamed
  • If I use up all my resources and need rest then that’s a time for feeling tired
  • Etc..

The point is that as we go through life there are things we do, things that happen to us that don’t fill our needs and there’s no place for feeling happy. It’s part of evolving, growing and living to feel the full range of human emotions. If we strive to reach ‘happiness’ then we miss out on that part of being human. We deny the other, less enjoyable, experiences.

When I’m feeling ‘not-happy’ I know I will feel happy again, but for now I want to honour the emotions that are alive and not try to deny them. They’re telling me something important as they’re clues to what’s missing right now – and they’re signals towards action I can take to change that. For the moment anyway. Not-happy will come back just as surely as happy.

Happy people

We often talk about ‘happy people’ and this can mean at least two different things. We can mean someone who has a propensity to feel happy often or someone who frequently expresses when they do feel it. These are related but not the same.

I have a ‘happy propensity’ when my inclination is to focus on the positive experiences in life. I actively seek out opportunities to feel happy and I attract the things that are good for me. There’s no secret to this either. It’s a choice, a decision I can make at any time. There’s nothing in the external world that can force me to choose this – it’s up to me. In the same way if I choose a negative outlook on life, that’s my decision too. It’s surely influenced by upbringing, by environment and maybe by genes – but I’m not a victim of these unless I choose to be.

I can also develop my skills at expressing the happy feeling at the times I’m experiencing it. I smile, laugh, take a particular tone of voice and describe things in a positive way. Expressing happiness is contagious. Again there’s no secret skill involved and we all know how to do it.

The 2 ‘non-secrets’ of feeling happy

If you want to feel happy more often you already know how to do it. There are basically two ways:

Joy1   Do more of what makes you happy

You’ve doubtless discovered many activities, environments and people that fufil you in some way and bring about this feeling we call happy. Spend more time with the people you enjoy and seek the activities and environments that make you happy.

You know what those are, not me and you don’t need any guru to tell you what they are. We’re all different and so it’s not surprising that different things make us happy.

2   Discover new things that make you happy

Chances are you’ve not yet discovered all the things available in life that will make you happy. There’s experiences you’ve yet to have that will bring you to the temporary state we call happiness.

Seek them out, throw yourself into new experiences and enjoy the adventure of life.

And remember – there’s no magic secret waiting to be revealed to you. It’s already been revealed!

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