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Reward! Wanted dead or alive

We seem to have built a world where reward in the form of  money, position, compliments and promises is an integral part of how we operate.  We reward our children for doing what we expect, employees for doing their work and the ultimate reward for living a ‘good’ life, apparently, is a place in heaven. It is so much engrained that we rarely take the time to consider if there’s any other way.

The problem with reward

Actually there are several problems, as I see it.

1   It works … up to a point

As a tool for manipulation or coercion it’s highly effective and based on a fairly primitive view of how we are as human beings. If it didn’t work I doubt it would be so common and it’s clear many people (me included!) do things to get rewarded and avoid punishment.

Just because something works doesn’t mean it’s the best way to get things done.

Once upon a time ships were powered by slaves, the Earth was flat and humans were sacrificed to appease the gods. Times change, we learn new things and gain new understanding about how the world works – including how we ‘work’.

I think it has become pretty well understood that reward works in the short term and to get aims met, rather than a more holistic motivation.

Once the reward is earned there’s no longer any forward movement and the system needs to keep feeding itself. There’s no longer term motivation and neither the means nor the goals have to be useful, meaningful or have value.

2   Fear (and greed)

Reward goes hand in hand with punishment. The two are inseparable because, even where no punishment is threatened, the failure to get a reward is a punishment in itself.

And reward often uses greed to get things done and punishment uses fear.

These aren’t the most endearing of human traits! And they reinforce the ‘ends justify the means’ approach to getting things done.

3    Power over

The whole concept sets up a reward bestower who has power over the receiver.

Bestowers of rewards include parents, teachers, employers and the ultimate bestower, God (at least as God is taught in some doctrines). Anywhere you find ‘authority’, you will almost certainly find reward and punishment operating. It is one of the tools that those in positions of authority use to keep themselves there. And in most cases it’s combined with superior power – either physical, emotional or moral.

I have 2 concerns about this.

  • whenever I respond to reward (or punishment) I give away my power to an authority figure. I stop taking responsibility and I expect to be looked after.
  • while I’m a great believer in humankind, I also realise not one of us is perfect and power has a nasty habit of becoming abused and misused.

Is there another way?

Do you believe that if rewards are taken away as a motivating tool, things would still get done?

Well, I doubt that everything you do is motivated by seeking gain or avoiding punishment. I do many things willingly, even joyfully without any external influences. Probably most of what I do, and most of the things I truly enjoy, I do because I want to and not because I want to be given something as a result.

I believe motivation comes from inside. It comes when my needs are being taken care of, when my life and the lives of others are being enriched in some way – not from the reward but from the act itself.

For example, I prepare food and wash up because I enjoy feeding myself and I enjoy cleanliness and order. I write because it gives me a sense of purpose and interaction with you. I run workshops because I enjoying sharing, learning and the community this brings me. I could go on …

The ‘reward’ (if I can call it that) is through meeting these various needs and from the activity itself. I don’t rely on anyone ‘giving’ me or ‘awarding’ me anything. If I receive money or praise then I take that as feedback I’ve done something that others have enjoyed.

This kind of motivation comes when I’m in touch with my inner drivers, my needs, my values. I don’t need external reward and I’m not putting my power in the hands of others.

And when I’m connected to this internal power of my own, I never want to use reward or punishment to get others to do what I want them to do.

Not at home, not at work and not anywhere.

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15 Comments

  1. David Cain says:

    I totally agree Ian. When the reward is something external, then the task required to get the reward becomes an obstacle, and ceases to contain the reason for doing it. So there is no real reason to do the work itself, only to get the reward, and defuse any obstacles in the way. In my experience the quality of the work suffers and so does the state of mind of the person doing the work.

    Persona pride, gratitude and the bliss mindfulness are internal rewards that are always available for any work that a person finds meaningful.

  2. What an excellent post! I’ve never considered how much the concept of reward plays into our lives. You’ve done an amazing job of tackling the topic in this post — and great title too!

  3. Jay Schryer says:

    Like David, I totally agree with you. Our system of rewards and punishments is outdated. If the rewards aren’t internal, then the work suffers. I see this with my own job, where honestly, the only reason I keep it is because I am afraid to let it go. But I’m just doing the bare minimum to get by…I’m certainly not thriving or going the extra mile. It would be far better to quit, and let someone else do a better job, but I need the paycheck for now.

    One thing that I would like to mention is that I see greed as a type of fear. In my view, greed is the fear of not having enough. So really, both reward and punishment use fear as a motivator.

    Only when we act out of love instead of fear can we hope to escape the bonds of reward/punishment.

  4. Evan says:

    Hi Ian, I agree with what you say about intrinsic motivation being better for most things.

    Extrinsic motivation can help to develop things like the speed with which a skill is performed (though may not be the best way even then).

    To move to a world where intrinsic motivation is used I think requires us to communicate about our motivations – so that the transition is easy and pleasant for all concerned.

  5. Monica says:

    Great article!

    I believe this article is more about judgements than about rewards.

    There is a vast difference between reward and punishment. There is only a link between them should you choose to link them.
    Should a “reward” not be reached you don’t automatically have to assume there is lack or punishment. Not reaching a goal can drive motivation even higher. There can be tremendous gratitude for the learning and experience in the reaching, the journey, the striving of the goal, This can far outweigh any reward you expected at the completion.
    We always have a choice in how we react!!

    Surely we have come a long way – punishment (fear) was the main motivator throughout history.
    I feel there is a shift where more and more we seek the “reward” (not necessarily a token thing) These rewards being all that you highlighted in terms of your own desires and internal satisfaction – you used the term “I enjoy” many times!. Classic BE, DO, HAVE.

    Reward or goal or success or satisfaction or experience or any other term you may use for what you want does drive us to be more loving, more compassionate, more whole, more giving, as we are focused on the positive and not the fear. The more we practice the feelings of enjoyment and love the more we share it with others and want it for others.

    The idea of reward or punishment bestowed upon us by others (or by ourselves based on limiting beliefs and fears) all comes down to judgements and this is the real key ! — not that reward is not a worthwhile pursuit.

  6. ianpeatey says:

    @David It’s my experience too that work suffers. I’ve had a couple of times when I’ve agreed to do some work purely because I wanted the money. Needless to say I don’t think anyone benefited, and I decided never to take any work unless first and most importantly my heart is in it (and my bank account follows in a much lower priority).

    @PositvelyPresent thanks Dani!

    @Jay Thanks for adding that point about greed .. that’s spot on. It may not always be obvious that fear drives greed, but if I can peel back the layers hiding it then I’m sure it’s there.

    @Evan I fully agree that communication is important here. I also think that first we need to raise our personal awareness of why we do the things we do – and then create greater choice and responsibility. Without that awareness we maybe don;pt have much to communicate?

    @Monica Thank you for the comment!

    I also think we’ve come a long way in many parts of the world – though I wonder whether the methods have become more sophisticated and subtle. What I mean is that history (well, as far as we started to record it anyway) shows a lot of coercion through physical means.

    Violent and extreme punishment were common until relatively recently (in some countries they still kill as the ultimate punishment!). But reward was still used in terms of land, title, position. I think society has got softer on the punishment and got broader and deeper with the rewards. But as a societal system they tend to go hand in hand even if there’s not always an obvious or direct link between them.

    You’re right that any system depends on our thinking (you use the word ‘judgement’) and reward or punishment only work on me if I buy into it. I’ve always got a choice. In the face of a powerful authority some of my choices may not be very attractive, but I still have the choice. So the ’system’ has to hide as much as possible the choices I have to get me to buy the story.

    And yes .. at a personal level reward is one of our drivers (in the sense that you use the word). And I’m trying to continually raise my awareness of how this operates internally for me.

  7. Crafters100 says:

    Ian Peatey delivers again with an astute article about the pros & cons of the reward/punishment system.

  8. To me it’s how you define “reward”. I can reward myself with freedom of action if I achieve a certain income level for example. I’m not motivated by pleasing others, I’m motivated by making myself happy. Is that a reward? If you are defining reward as some “thing” someone else gives you then I guess not.

  9. [...] A big hello to Ian Peatey of Quantum Learning. His tagline says it all: Nonviolence as a lifestyle. A recent post you might enjoy: Reward! Wanted Dead or Alive. [...]

  10. ianpeatey says:

    @Crafters100 Thank you! And I just want to add how much I appreciate your support on SU!

    @Stephen I’m using it here in the sense of reward given by someone else, which I believe is the original meaning of the word. Apparently it has medieval origins meaning to repay some service. However, you’re right that it’s also become common to use it in a broader context.

    I’m now wondering if this is perhaps a clever trick. If I can be encouraged to buy the concept of reward even for those things I do for myself that make me feel good, then it gives even more credibility to the extrinsic use of reward. In other words – are we being gradually conditioned to only do things where there is a reward involved? Are we being slowly weaned off the idea that it’s most pleasurable to do things because it contributes to our well being and the well being of others? Hmmmm …. I need to dwell on this some more.

    Thanks for the stimulation, Stephen. Much appreciated!

  11. Adrian Raynor says:

    I really like the thinking behind this post, and believe internal motivation is an ideal for everyone to strive for. However, for many people, the world of work often presents little opportunity for intrinsic motivation – many are in jobs they quite dislike doing. The extrinsic rewards they get for doing them – bonuses, perhaps – present deferred gratification, something they will use the money for later.

    Whether people can change their thinking in these situations I do not know. I am reminded of the three stonemasons who were supposed to be working for Michelangelo. One saw his work as a job, one as a skill he was developing and the third as working to build a great cathedral to God.

    The key point is that only we ourselves can change our thinking about motivation, but where necessary, the world of work could help more by giving tasks which motivate in themselves.

  12. Thanks for this — coming to whatever we do from a place of recognizing that we’re already complete as we are is such a great way to get past paralyzing anxiety, even though it goes against the conventional wisdom that our self-worth has to be riding on getting some reward in order to stay motivated.

  13. Hi Ian,

    I completely understand where you’re coming from. However, this might be a subject that I need to meditate on a little bit. I’m trying to figure out what you conclusion is, since you acknowledge that the positive aspects you get from you work is like a “reward”. The best I can conclude is that we should find contentment within ourselves and our actions, and stop looking to others for validation and stop looking to others to supply us of our needs.

    This is an interesting idea, and is certainly an empowering idea. My concern is that if we take out the concept of “rewards”, then we gradually spiral into isolationism. Certainly there’s nothing wrong with enjoying the benefit of other people’s company, yet one might look upon this interaction as a “reward”. And only the most naively optimistic of people would believe that when a person does a good deed, that they aren’t hoping for good to return to them. I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with doing something in hope of a reward. I feel that this is the way that the human brain works… that almost everything we do, we do for selfish reasons.

    The trick is balance selfishness with selflessness. If you are seeking a reward, ask yourself what it is that you want and who can provide it for you? Now turn that around and ask yourself what you have the power to provide, and who might want it? No matter who you are, you have the power to “reward” someone else, even if it’s nothing more than a compliment. However, if you are empowered to give more, or much more, than it’s only right to do so. You never know who is empowered to reward you with what you need or want, and by giving selflessly, you might inspire others to do the same.

  14. I acknowledge the fact that reward has several problems… I thank the author for the enlightenment. However, reward in itself is not bad. It seems to me that this post suggests to the readers to not use reward. In my own opinion, reward is still useful because it could be used as a form of motivation/driving force. :-)

  15. ianpeatey says:

    @Adrian Thanks for the reminder of the Michelangelo story, a great illustration of how mindset can change everything. I also wonder about the workplace. My view is that a huge amount of work activity has little meaning or value – or maybe little attempt is made to give it meaning – so reward is used to get things done.

    From the point of view of the individual it’s pretty soul destroying – as you say, with people doing work they dislike. And from the point of view of the business it’s not very smart and tends to obscure the activities that really do add value and have meaning.

    I suspect a little more is needed to change the way business is done than me writing about it from time to time, but you got to start somewhere :-)

    @Chris Thanks! Maybe conventional wisdom is not always very wise!

    @Trey I think the conclusion I was trying to get to (and thanks for the push back on that!) is from 2 sides:

    First, the importance of always being clear for myself what motivates me to do the things I do and to be wary whenever I’m doing something for the external reward, losing sight of the activity itself. Whenever I do that I’m likely to be putting the power of my happiness in the hands of someone else.

    Second, the way I get people to do what I want them to do (and I’m especially aware of my role as father here, though not only). When I use reward and punishment then it’s possible the other does what I want out of fear or greed – and probably not because they actually want to do it . And I’d prefer things to be done from a different energy than either of those.

    You wrote that almost everything we do is for selfish reasons. I’ll go out on a limb here and say I believe EVERYTHING we do is for selfish reasons in that we’re always trying to meet our needs.

    I would add that I also think many of our needs are met when we’re in service of other people. Paradoxically, I think we’d be less isolated and more compassionate if we’re constantly checking what our selfish motivations are. Btw ’selfish’ has a lot of negative connotations which I think is a great pity!

    @Hypnosisadmin many thanks for the visit and the comment. I agree that reward itself is not bad, and, yes, I’m also suggesting not to use it! In my opinion (and experience), reward is not necessary if the activity is both meaningful and I can find a way to do it joyfully. It also sets up a ‘power over’ relationship, something else I’d like to see change to ‘power with’ in the way we organise ourselves.

    If I can’t find either meaning or joy in what I’m doing then reward might indeed be helpful getting things done – but then I question why I would want to do such things?

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