Often it happens I find myself getting attached to doing things a certain way.
The U.S. standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is four feet, eight and a half inches. That’s an exceedingly odd number.
We all have our own quirks
Most of the time there’s no problem with that and I can happily keep my quirky habits without interfering with anyone else. I can organise the kitchen drawer a certain way, carry out my bathroom routine in a particular order, start with my least favourite food on the plate and leave the best until last, work while sitting on the most uncomfortable seat in the apartment, etc. etc..
In fact, most of the time I’m blissfully unaware that my quirks could seem a little odd to other people.
I don’t live in isolation, though, and sometimes my idiosyncracies clash with those of others. In ‘Being right‘ I recounted a story from my first marriage about a huge fight we had about the correct way to cut potatoes for boiling.
And I mean HUGE! Shouting, screaming and even .. finger pointing!
I was adamant that potatoes have to be cut across the short cross-section. My wife was equally adamant they are cut across the long section.
Crazy? Yes, but entirely true.
Where do our beliefs come from?
Why was that gauge used? Because that’s the way they built them in England, and English expatriates built the U.S. railroads. Why did the English people build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that’s the gauge they used.
Many beliefs (and the associated practices) are developed early on in life at home, being brought by our parents from their homes, brought by their parents … Generation after generation passing down whole belief systems. Of course, they change over time as new ones are needed. Sometimes they may be challenged and collapse, to replaced by others. They transform with changing circumstances.
Most beliefs are well rooted in the past, so can be very slow and stubborn to shift and so often lag behind our current realities.
A brief history of the Peatey Potato Law
Why did they use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.
The early historical records of the Peatey family are quite sketchy on potato cutting practices.
There are several references in early folk-lore to large numbers of Peateys needing to be fed very quickly. Some experts argue this led to the short-section-cut, pointing to the fact that, cutting this way, saves around 2 milliseconds per vegetable.
An etching (above) dated 1311 appears to show two members of the Peatey family cutting potatoes across the short section, though the authenticity of the engraving is questioned by several prominent legume historians.
Why did the wagons use that odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing the wagons would break on some of the old, long-distance roads, because that’s the spacing of the old wheel ruts.
The earliest reliable recorded mention of the cut, in its modern form, is in the county annals of 1574 where the practice was already well established. In 1728 the ‘Peatey Potato Act’ was passed by Parliament and quickly became known as the PP Law. The Act is still on the statute books and is recognised as one of the oldest Acts of Parliament still in force.
So who built these old rutted roads? The first long-distance roads in Europe were built by Imperial Rome for the benefit of its legions. The roads have been used ever since.
My point is practical necessity becomes habit and habits and practices turn into laws and belief systems.
The power of beliefs
And the ruts? Roman war chariots made the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagons. Since the chariots were made for or by Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing. Thus, the standard U.S. railroad gauge of four feet, eight and a half inches derives from the specification for an Imperial Roman army war chariot – the width of the back ends of two warhorses.
I believed this was the right, and only, way to cut potatoes.
Crazy as it now sounds, when faced with the alternative offered by my ex-wife, I saw a personal attack on my belief system. I felt a strong urge to quash the potato heresy and my wife with it. It was so strong, I could barely contain my desire to cause physical harm to her (fortunately, I did contain it).
And yes, I agree it is TOTALLY insane and I was not in my right mind.
Who in their right mind believes something to the extent they cannot allow for any other possibility?
Who in their right mind believes something to the point they are prepared to hurt (or kill) someone thinking differently?
Ask yourself this though …
… is there really such a big difference between the ‘Peatey Potato Law’ and all the other beliefs lurking in the roots of the World’s violence?
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Hi Ian – Funny story, but I guess it wasn’t so funny at the time
There are many ways that we can feel “attacked” and they usually involve someone else doing or thinking something differently from the way that we do. I guess we believe that a different way of thinking or acting calls into question our self, and we have a hard time handling that. Thanks for a good article.
Ahhh very, very wise post, my friend! So many things we do are just byproducts of a forgotten age, and usually we don’t even know why we do the things that we do! This post reminds me of a similar story, which is one of my favorite ones to tell people in meetings, whenever someone (as people almost always do) say: “But we’ve always done it that way!”
The story goes like this:
One Thanksgiving morning, a husband came into the kitchen, where his wife was preparing the turkey. He witnessed her cut off both ends from the Turkey, and set them aside. She then placed the turkey in the oven.
“Why do you always cut the ends off the turkey before you put it in the oven?” he asked.
“I don’t know. Mom always did it that way.”
So then he asked his mother-in-law: “Why do you cut the ends off the turkey before putting it in the oven?”
“Because my mother always did it that way.”
So then, the husband asks his wife’s grandmother the same question, and she says:
“Because back in my day, the ovens were a lot smaller. The whole turkey wouldn’t fit, and so we cut the sides off in order to fit the turkey in the oven.”
No turkeys were harmed in the making of this comment
Wow – I LOVE the way you’ve written this post. Thought provoking, great points, very well made and still so very entertaining!
I read somewhere once that saying, “I absolutely believe…” is not actually a positive affirmation, but rather a restricting belief. Once you absolutely believe something, there is no room for something better..
Now, if you could, I would love a 3year old version of this post. I have 3 little people who’s ability to hold on tightly to an idea – no matter how nonsensical – is quite astounding. And I’m not quite sure they have the self restraint NOT to cause physical harm in defence of their beliefs!
Hi Ian,
Great post. That railroad anecdote is amazing. There are reasons for everything.
The problem is the beliefs are indistinguishable from knowledge. Because that’s all ‘knowledge’ is: beliefs we feel a sense of certainty about.
And it sure is easy to take it personally when someone doubts our beliefs isn’t it? That idea has intrigued me for a long time. I figure that we invest our personalities in our beliefs, and when the beliefs are attacked, we feel attacked. Sure does cause a lot of trouble for everyone.
Its strange the belief systems we hold. We all have them and we all place supreme importance on our own ways of thinking. And we are loathe to ever concede or change or minds for somebody else. Even if the belief we have is completely irrational or illogical.
I love your example about the potatoes. What has helped me in similar situations is to understand that there is no one right way to live. My way is my way but it isn’t for everyone. I can accept that the other person will never see my point of view. They live in a completely different mental world.
Here’s a quote from a book I read recently by John Wareham. I’m sure you will find it relevant:
“The mark of the mental prisoner lies in thinking that his constellation of values – his perspective or mindset, and nobody else’s – is some kind of holy writ.”
Hey Ian,
This is a great post and you’re a great story teller! I think at some point we’ve all been “right fighters”- always having to be right, at any cost – and some people never progress beyond that, unfortunately. I know it took me awhile.
I’ve always been very particular about how I do things, but a few years ago I was able to truly believe (not just say I believe) that my way was *A* way to do something not *THE* way to do it.
It’s changed many of my relationships with people, for the better. I find these same people are more open with me when they know their suggestions or ways of doing something will be taken on board and not just dismissed or argued against.
Ian,
This is an awesome post and Stumbled. I read it really quickly because I was so curious to know about the ruts. I actually read this before long ago and forgot. The way you interweaved it with your personal and honest story made it so powerful. Isn’t it funny the way we must have things done our way? I remember quarrelling over the way toothpaste tubes are squeezed. I squeezed from the bottom up, the Ex squeezed from the middle, pushing the toothpaste towards the bottom of the tube – I thought that was so dumb and therefore my way had to be better!
Amusing post!
My theory is that we defend ingrained habits to create a sense of permanency in our lives. Of course, it never works very well.
Awesome post, Ian! It was full of wisdom and made me laugh. That is the perfect combination.
In my experience, many people are attached to their beliefs because that is how they define life and their world. Anyhing that contradicts that causes them to doubt themselves. It is as if their sense of reality is shaken. Then there are those who are open to new things and new thoughts. I often think the difference in reaction correlates to the level of inner peace within the person.
Hi Ian — thanks for this post. This reminds me of how much my relating with people has changed over the past few years. I used to like debating about politics or literature or some intellectual thing with people, and believing bromides about how “informed debate makes you a better citizen” and so on. Now I have no interest in discussing either my mental position or someone else’s — I want to know about and feel a connection with them, not what they know about Camus or international politics.
@Amanda In fact it took me many, many years to see the funny side of this and to learn my lesson. I think I’m more embarrassed about how long it took to get some perspective on this type of thinking. And I only licked one example. There are hundreds of others I could have chosen!
@Jay Thanks for sharing that story. I was torn between choosing that one or the railroad one so I’m happy to see it appearing in the comments. There’s another one about monkeys and bananas I’m keeping up my sleeve for a later post on this topic.
@Alison I’ll give some thought to a version for 3 year olds. I like the idea! Am thinking I could do with one for my 6 year old too!
@David Great point about investing our identity in our beliefs. Not really thought about it in that way, but it rings true. I’ve come to see that believing that there is such a ting as ‘absolute knowledge’ or ‘being right’ is limiting and dangerous. After all, 1,000 years people ‘knew’ the Earth is flat and is at the centre of the universe.
@Tom Welcome, and I love the quote! Yes we are prisoners of our beliefs to the extent they prevent us exploring further. The amazing thing about the human race is that each of us has a unique frame for looking at the world. No one set of beliefs is the ‘right’ one. Except mine of course
@Sherri Happy to hear you found your way. It comes through very clearly in your blog, which is one of the many reasons I enjoy your articles.
@Daphne Ah, now don’t get me started on toothpaste!!!! Of course, there’s a right way to squeeze the tube! How can anyone doubt it?
@Roger Thanks for bringing the positive side of strong beliefs into the discussion. I agree that they give us some sense of security and stability in an uncertain world. I guess the trick is to know when they are taking us into conflict with others (which is clearly not beneficial fro our security).
@Nadia I wonder also if it’s a question of degree. It can be very disturbing to have your belief system challenged – I went through a big transformation in 2001 which started with my core belief system collapsing under my feet. It just wasn’t able to account for several things I was experiencing at the time. I found my own inner peace after letting go of those beliefs that weren’t serving me any more.
@Chris Great point. There’s far more life essence available when we connect with people here and now than in discussing what we know. Pretty much all we know comes from the past and has only a remnant of the original life it had then.
Great post, Ian!
I think we react differently to doubts regarding what we believe vs. what we’ve actually experienced. Beliefs are vulnerable, whereas personal experiences typically aren’t.
When someone disagrees or disbelieves something that we ourselves have no question about (because of our personal experience), we tend not to get angry.
If, for example, I were to claim that no one is interested in what Ian Peatey writes on his blog, you’re likely to see this as my personal problem or opinion. Either Michael’s perception is flawed or he’s experiencing something different from me. Clearly, there are lots of people who are interested in Quantum Learning, and the numbers keep growing daily.
However if I made a similar claim before you started blogging, it may have been received differently. If you had any doubts about your blogging ability or your appeal to potential readers, then you might have felt threatened by my opinion. Maybe Michael’s right, and no one will be interested in my blog. What does that mean about me?
I think it’s that last question “what does that mean about me?” that really gets us worked up. Now, it’s not just about what we believe, it’s about how we see ourselves.
Ultimately, I think that stating our beliefs as “beliefs” rather then facts, and admitting that we could be wrong both go a long way towards avoiding violence.
What a fantastic post, Ian… the style, the message, everything! I am definitely stumbling this.
It reminded me, actually, of the movie Religulous, in which Bill Maher points out all sorts of beliefs that we have held fast to since the Bronze era. For instance, there was a figure carved in the hillside ages ago, and no one knows who made it or what it meant, but they still maintain it to this day. Why?
Also, I thought of the Oscar Wilde quote: “A thing is not necessarily true
because a man dies for it.”
I’m going to have to agree with your wife on the potato-cutting argument.
@Michael So no-one finds what I write interesting? Is that what you’re trying to tell me!!!!? Ahhhhhhh!
Beliefs might be one way we try to make sense out of our experiences. I think they’re also passed onto us by others. And I agree fully that accepting beliefs as just that (and not as ultimate Truth) is one step towards more peace in this world.
@Lisis Love the Wilde quote! And let’s NOT get started on the great potato debate!