As I wait for enthusiastic calls from our beloved world leaders following up on my plan for world peace, I was inspired by this article on the BBC News website to come up with ‘Plan B’:
“A Florida pizza delivery man who was challenged by armed robbers in the city of Miramar got in first with his own weapon – a large pepperoni pizza.
Eric Lopez Devictoria, 40, flung the piping hot pizza at the gunman, then turned on his heels and ran. He made a safe getaway, according to the Florida Sun-Sentinel, despite one shot being fired as he fled.
Police later arrested three teenage suspects, who have been charged with armed robbery.”
Eric clearly read my previous post and, not having a paper firearm to hand, used the next best thing. A pizza! Well done Eric for the improvisation.
I guess the police easily identified the suspects from the pepperoni-shaped burn marks on their faces? I haven’t tested the effectiveness of other types of pizza (I hope I’m never required to do so!) but am convinced they would also work. If pepperoni doesn’t suit your taste, or for all the vegetarians out there, then why not arm yourself with a vegetarian pizza?
In the unlikely event that the cardboard gun idea doesn’t fly, the next best thing is to replace all the weapons with pizzas! (this is my Plan B – in case it wasn’t clear!).
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Pizza as a weapon – I never would have thought of it! In our house, pizza is like the holy grail – something to be worshiped! And then devoured! As in…no one would want to “fire” their weapon…
Ian,
Hahahahaha, very entertaining read. I find that story awesomely hilarious. I’m glad the guy got away. Talk about thinking on your feet! I have no idea what I would have done in his situation.
Now we are talking, Ian, this is much better. I actually would not throw pizza at them, but offer it to the aggressor, you know, as the act of love and hospitality. I bet everybody will feel deeply touched, will put their arms down, sit and start eating, with tears in their eyes and greasy hands. With bellies full of food and hearts full of love, they will have no objections to me taking their weapons away and go for a bear in the nearby pub.
I love it.
So, as you see, I upgraded your plan B a bit and I expect you to share the Nobel peace prize with me.
Do you have any ideas about the dress for the occasion? We should both be in style, you know, same colour and stuff.
Lance – long may your peaceful worship of the great god Pizza continue and I hope you are never called on to use one in anger …
Rahul – I’m happy you were entertained by this. I also don’t know what I’d do in such a situation. I guess no-one really can predict until they are actually faced with three armed teenagers and a large pizza!
Robert – well I’d prefer smart casual. I’ve a very nice new purple shirt, no tie and maybe I’d buy a new jacket for the occasion. We’ll just have to co-ordinate before shopping!
And as for the improvement on the plan .. maybe by the time we reach plan C we’ll have something that will really get the governments of the world to listen.
Thanks for the comments guys, much appreciated! Ian
I love pizza! And now it can be used as a weapon! :d
I wish all police and armies are using this type of weapon, I’ll join them right away!
Yummy… Why do I feel hungry now…?
Hi Aldhis. I think you could be onto a great recruitment tool for the armed forces! ‘Join up today .. and get your very own pizza’.