As a kid I was fascinated with a weekly radio show called Desert Island Discs where a guest was invited to select 8 pieces of music to have with them if they were stranded on a desert island. They could add one luxury item and one book, excluding the Bible and the complete works of Shakespeare (which apparently all desert islands already have).
The idea of choosing from the vast array available (in this case music) somehow appealed to me. How to condense all those bits of music I love into a list of only 8? To say nothing of the greater challenge of picking one luxury! The idea stuck, and I find myself regularly compiling Top 10 lists – albums, films, books and, more recently, blogs (no! I’m not going to name them!). It has a practical use too. What better way to get to know someone when in the early stages of a relationship than exchanging Top 10 lists?
Desert Island Disc Game
In the spirit of Desert Island Discs I have a short game for you.
Part 1 Imagine that everything of value to you was about to suddenly disappear. You can select 3 possessions to save from the disaster … write them down before reading more.
What was on your list?
House? Car? Computer? iPod/iPhone? Jewellery? Maybe there were some things that can’t be replaced because of some emotional attachment? Childhood teddy bear? Letter from a lover? Gift made specially for you? Picture drawn by one of your kids? Photograph?
Part 2 Now imagine that everything and everyone of value was about to disappear. You can still save three of them in total, either things and/or people. You don’t have to write them down, but if you do, just make sure it doesn’t fall into the wrong hands!
Tough game?
How many objects were on your second list? I’ll stick my neck out and venture a guess that, for 99% of you, there were 3 people on the list and not one object. It’s possible you didn’t do Part 2 because the thought of choosing 3 people to save was just too hard, painful or seemed pointless.
To the other 1% … I just don’t know what to say to you. Sorry!
What is value?
My own definition is that something has ‘value’ to me when it contributes to my well-being or serves my life in some way. When something sustains me (food, water, air, warmth) it has value. When something meets my ‘higher level’ needs (care, love, companionship, belonging, growth, meaning, beauty, freedom etc.) it has value.
Objects contribute to my life in limited ways and are mainly luxuries, rarely giving me the essentials of life beyond what I need to survive. People, on the other hand, contribute to my life in a far richer, deeper and more flexible way. People adapt to the moment and respond to the ever changing ebb and flow of what I need for my well- being. The people in my life will always have greater value than any inanimate object.
Turning it around, I’m also constantly searching for where I can best contribute to the lives of the people around me. I don’t always succeed but this is where my own value lies as a human being.
How is this reflected in our society? Do we collectively treat people as more valuable than objects?
Value in society
When I walk down the high street, open a magazine, surf the internet or turn on the TV I get a very different picture of how we collectively view value. In our society, it seems to me that value is associated with a number and a unit of currency. The higher the number, the more ‘value’ it has. Bigger numbers get attached to well known brands, objects that are bigger, faster, newer, sleeker or shinier, things with lots of buttons and flashing lights or things to make you look more like a supermodel or top athlete. We’re always on the look out for a ‘bargain’, which translated, means handing over a smaller number than the number printed on the packaging.
I think the great confidence trick of the 20th century was to persuade us that value is quantitative not qualitative – that it can largely be measured by a number. We’ve allowed ourselves to be seduced into thinking we need certain things to be full and complete human beings. We’ve developed the habit of buying stuff without deeply questioning how those things contribute to our well-being. We’ve accepted that we have to chase money to allow us to buy all this stuff and then get trapped in the ‘rat race’ to maintain it. We’re brought up to believe that the price we pay for our lifestyle is substantial time away from our families and friends working for the very businesses that are driving all this.
I’m not anti-materialism at all. Many of the things around me contribute to my life. They make it easier, allow me to connect and travel across great distances, bring beauty and functionality to my life and some are plain fun. I just despair that we’ve got all mixed up as a society and lost sight of what is essential, important and valuable.
Money and business are the root of all …
In fact, I don’t think money is the root at all. Money’s just a number, a tool. How could it possibly be responsible for anything? I have no doubt the idea of money is one of mankind’s great inventions. It’s enabled us to transform our world through the infinite exchangeability of goods and services. It’s impossible to imagine how we could function effectively without it. Barter trade? I don’t think so!
I don’t think business is the root either. It’s a superb way to organise ourselves to do things we couldn’t possibly do on our own. The Corporate World, harnessing our personal capacities, utilising money, harvesting the Earth’s resources and competing in the market economy, has made huge advancements in so many areas of our lives.
Where did it get off track?
We’ve turned money and business, two of the greatest means invented, into ends in themselves. We’ve got lost by acting as though the purpose of business is to make profit and forgotten that it’s true purpose is to serve life and enhance our well-being. We’ve got greedy and unbalanced in a search for profit and lost sight of the search for value.
Ask any employee who they work for and they’ll have no problem giving you the name of the company and probably what it does. Try telling them instead that the company works for them and serves them. Try telling them it’s purpose is not to make money but to enhance the well-being of mankind. What reaction do you get?
How to move to a value centred society
I honestly have no idea what a value centred society would look like. I do know that people will be valued above objects, that we’ll measure value qualitatively as well as quantitatively. I do know that I’ll feel proud to be part of such a society and willing to give much more of myself to its advancement.
I’m clear I can’t change the world, not overnight anyway. And probably not single-handedly, no matter how much I’d like to believe so! There are some steps I can take in my day to day life.
In the search for receiving value
- Pay constant attention to my well-being by noticing the signals given by my thoughts, my feelings, my body, my intuition.
- Develop a range of possibilities to meet my needs as they arise and making conscious choices what to do about it
- Look after those relationships that are important to me
- Use money as an enabler, a means of exchange to help manage the complexity of choice
- Use money as feedback when my life has been served
- Shield myself from the mass media
- Look after myself from an energy of care and love rather than fear.
In the search for giving value
- Constantly ask myself how what I’m doing is adding value, and to whom?
- Seek and listen to feedback (for example, if you have any reactions to this article please consider leaving a comment, recommending it to friends, giving me money – directly or indirectly is fine
) - Encourage others to get clarity for themselves about these things
- Share my experiences, methods and skills that can make a difference.
For society to rediscover what we know about value on an individual level, enough of us need to rediscover it for ourselves. We can change how we use money, change what we pursue, recognise the value in people and not allow ourselves to be fooled that objects and money are more important than human beings.
This article is my contribution to a group writing project initiated by Jeremy Day at Insight Writer on the topic of ‘Creating Value’. See the complete list of articles here.
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- Mind your own business
- Heart of business
- Compassionate Business
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- Peeling off the labels
- You Don’t Need Money
Ian, this is a mezmerizing post. It calls for action on the part of your readers and invites them to redefine what they consider to be of intrinsic value.
An detachment exercise exists which invites people to identify 5-10 of their most prized possessions. A person is asked to lay them on the table and to systematically reveiw why each holds a certain meaning or value. One-by-one, they are supposed to be eliminated from the person’s life by their choice. This is an exercise in learing the meaning of emptiness and fullness all at once. It is said that a person must learn what it feels like to lose “everything” before that person can gain everything.
By the way, Oriah Mountain Dreamer is a writer whose work I have read. Her life offers fascainting lessons. Thanks for drawing readers of Dreambuilders Australia blog to her exquisite words.
Hi Ian,
Such a wonderful article yet again, I read with complete interest and involvement until the last line [I go a bit astray more often than not! lol]. As I played part 1 of the game and put my wife and daughter one & two, I was thinking I’m displaying a certain notion [my third possession of value was my laptop, a tool to connect to people I cherish interacting with!]. So selections for part 2 were obvious given my thinking. Though I may have displayed something more of my narrow emotional character by picking my own people; but emotional attachment for my well being was the key, I thought.
You have come out trumps in conveying the value of people in life, in society as being more important than inanimate objects.
This article certainly deserves a Stumble and I’m doing it to express my appreciation, something of value that I can give to a large number of people.
I think the society owes to, and benefits itself by changing the value systems.
I feel rejuvenated!
Your Bloggess comment appeared above mine, so I clicked on your recent post and got this MARVELOUS piece of writing. I love your site and plan to visit here often. When there’s so little time and so much to read, it’s rewarding to find something “of value” like this. Gratitude to you, Ian.
LIARA … Thank you for this exercise. I’ll try it out sometime when I’m next facilitating a group. And yes .. Oriah is wonderful. And thanks for all the other comments too.
PUSHYYARAG … I had a couple of other people say they chose people in part 1 .. so I changed it a little to avoid that. I’m happy you chose your wife and daughter … and they are too I imagine.
BETAPHI … A warm welcome and I’m delighted you found your way here from Bloggess. I just love that site (reminds me I’ve been meaning to add it to my blogroll). I’d love to see you here again!
All of you .. thank you for the kind words. This was an important post for me as it helped me clarify many things for myself.
I held off reading your article until after I had written mine, and now I am GLAD I did that. I agree with much of what you’ve said.
Ian,
In my adult years, I’ve come to understand the people who are anti-establishment and anti-materialism. I think I hit a boiling point last year when 2 people died during black friday. I mean, COME ON! People are dying so that they can save 30% on christmas gifts for people that they probably don’t really want to buy for anyway?
I’ve resolved that in 2009 for the holiday season, I’m going to treat others before I treat myself. I don’t know how I’m going to do that yet, but I can’t justify celebrating such a materialistic season anymore without being the example that I want to see.
I’m getting to my point now. I think that the fact that 2 people died during black friday perfectly illustrates your point of how we, as a society, value material possessions more than people.
Thanks for the link to your article, Ian. It is very good.
If blogs are any indication, you are far more evolved than me.
An interesting article. Reminds me of the old story about the closure of the last manned lighthouse in Canada. The old lighthouse keeper says to the interviewer,” the trouble these days is that everything’s costed, not valued.” I think that says it all. The only fault I could find with the article was the oft-repeated misunderstanding of the old Bible saying. People always say “Money is the root of all evil” whereas the proper quote is “The love of money is the root of all evil”.
I found your post here to be a well-written and interesting article. It is very fitting with my Zen philosophy…
It is through zazen (Zen meditation) that I create value as the practice develops great intuition through just being with my thoughts. And the ultimate aim is realize that all is one, and by helping and supporting others, my Self is never excluded from that.
When I have realizations, I never judge them, but tend to share them with others, on and off-line. At times where maybe I have thought something was a minor issue, I have been told that what I have shared something quite profound.
Sharing with others definitely expands our awareness and knowledge.
As you say, money is neutral, it’s just a means of trading. The Buddha discovered that it was desire that was the root of all suffering. This I see as a paradox.
If we desire no desire, we still have desire. When we share, we create. To share to me, means giving and receiving. Not all receiving (like greed) and not all giving (like martyrdom). I am convinced the Buddha meant “selfish desire” or greed was the source of all suffering.
Hi Ian,
This is a really great post. I loved the exercise. It really got me thinking. I am glad I wrote my article before I read yours. We really do have similar thoughts! Had I read yours first, I might have been inclined to go a different way.
Again, thank you for participating. This was really good.
Cheers,
Jeremy
HAYDEN – I’m glad you came back and read mine! Love how you got ‘Paris Hilton’ into a post on value!
TREY – thanks for sharing! It was pretty outrageous that people died for bargain shopping. Whenever I read the news I’m struck by how many people die in the cause of materialism – for land, for oil and other natural resources. I do despair at times .. but at least I celebrate I have a voice to speak out!
FLUFFY – good to see you. I’m pretty sure that blogs are NOT a good indication of level of evolution
OSCAR – Great anecdote! Thanks for dropping by and also for pointing out the common misquotation. It wasn’t my intention to quote from the Bible – and certainly not to ‘half-quote’. And just to prove my ignorance, I wasn’t even aware that the full quote came from the Bible! Oops!
DEREK – also good to see YOU here! I’ve only recently got interested in Zen and started daily zazen (well … daily on the days I actually do it!). It is an interesting paradox, indeed – the desire of no desire!
JEREMY – and I appreciate the inspiration for the post in the first place. Reading your post we certainly do seem to have very similar views on this!
Hi Ian,
A lot of the article reasonated with me, particularly the piece on money becoming the purpose rather than a useful means.
Thinking out loud….
The doubts I have about a value centered society, are that such an approach may lead to antagonisms about what are the right sets of values, just as we see fanatic religious representatives do battle.
Maybe an approach would be value society “islands”, people joining societies that work for them, with some way of accepting that different societies may have different values?
Thanks for taking the time to share you’re thinking,
Piotr
PIOTR – thanks for the comment – I appreciate it.
Thinking out loud back … these antagonisms are a risk with any society irrespective of what is at its centre. I guess it comes from attachment … to my own value set, my own view of the world, my own possessions or whatever. Attachment and then a desire to convert everyone to my way of thinking and living.
I believe for any society to be successful for all, it requires a set of attitudes and skills around accepting and embracing the differences between us.
[...] In search of value – what is value and how far do we go to get it? [...]
[...] In Search of Value by Ian Peatey – “For society to rediscover what we know about value on an individual level, enough of us need to rediscover it for ourselves. We can change how we use money, change what we pursue, recognise the value in people and not allow ourselves to be fooled that objects and money are more important than human beings.” [...]
Fantastic article Ian,
I have to say- Your last paragraph is totally true and well put.
Cheers
BUNNY – thanks for the kind words. Happy you enjoyed the article!
This is an excellent article, Ian
Without generalising, the problem is that see people had forgotten their identity as humans being and just rushing for gaining whatever they may reach without looking back to the impact over others, something so selfish!
__________
Ian’s reply:
Good to see you back!
Hmmm .. sounds like that is generalising
but it does seem to be a very common feature of much collective behaviour at the level of society. I do think, though, that at an individual level (with friends, families etc..) people tend to behave the opposite. The question it raises for me, is why do people behave differently at home compared to when ‘in society’ (at work etc.)?