I just took a break from reading and writing for a few minutes, made myself a cup of tea, put my feet up, played with the dogs. Those rare few moments of silence were broken by the especially unhelpful voice of my inner critic. A familiar voice to many of us, I suppose?
‘You are so lazy!’
From those four words there are several possible paths to take. I could write about the challenge of ‘being’ versus ‘doing’. Or I could explore why the inner critic always seems to address me in the second person. I’ll leave exploring those for a later day when I’ve got more energy for a longer article. When I’m not feeling so lazy.
Instead I’d like to share a wonderfully simple and effective method for taking the sting out of any judgement, whether from my inner critic or from the mouth of a fellow human being.
Try this.
Add the word ‘sometimes‘.
See how easy it is?
My inner critic now says ‘You are sometimes so lazy’. Now the statement is pefectly true as I am lazy sometimes, and sometimes I’m not!
Try it with criticism you hear from someone else.
“Ian, you are really selfish and inconsiderate”
Well, yes! Sometimes I am …. and sometimes I’m generous and sensitive to others.
“Ian, you write short, throw-away posts”
Sometimes I do.
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This made me laugh! I’ll admit, I’ve decided that my penchant for ‘laziness’ has made me more efficient. I’m just saying!
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Ian’s reply:
I’m also a great believer in laziness, sometimes. I think it’s been given a bad press by those who believe in ‘doing’ over ‘being’.
Nice post, Ian. I love this! It’s true, nothing is ever so extreme. Yeah, I’m lazy, too. Sometimes. I spent a good part of my adult life getting over being labelled “lazy” by family members. Putting a ’sometimes’ on the lazy label brings me closer to understanding the truth of who I am.
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Ian’s reply:
I enjoy playing with adding ’sometimes’ with any judgement. When someone judges me (either positively or negatively) I’ve taken to agreeing with whatever they say and adding ’sometimes’. Works wonders. Takes the sting out of the comment for myself and makes them step back and think about what they’ve said.
Next time one of your family calls you lazy … maybe try this – smile, nod and say ‘You’re right! Sometimes I am lazy. Sometimes I’m not!’
Funny post Ian, and true. Sometimes we just need to put our feet up. I’m getting very lazy with my blog. From daily posts when I started to twice a week now. So I’m a supporter of the lazy lifestyle!
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Ian’s reply:
High quality twice a week. Nothing lazy in that!
Hmmm I view laziness as taking a break, say you are working on something and you can’t be as productive, I will leave it aside and do something else, usually something casual, listen to music, watch videos or play a video game. That could be considered laziness too, i think.
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Ian’s reply
Judging from the comments so far I think I might have put too much emphasis on ‘laziness’. However I do think laziness has a lot going for it! Or am I just trying to convince myself?
Hi Ian
Maybe you could add in the “feeling” word.
Like “I am feeling so lazy”
Stops one from identifying with the emotion.
I believe in trying to live or do according to my heart. If I don’t feel like doing something, I leave it until I do – that’s when it is something that I usually enjoy (e..g writing). That way, it stays enjoyment and doesn’t become “work”. You can’t force creativity anyway.
But (big but), when it is something yucky….
Oh dear, I feel I am getting to heavy with my response and your post was so light and cheery.
Juliet
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Ian’s reply:
I’m with you on the ‘I feel …’ versus ‘I am …’ and that works for many things. Personally I prefer to keep ‘I feel’ for genuine emotions (I’m trying to develop my sadly under-developed emotional intelligence!).
An alternative could be ‘I think I’m sometimes lazy’. Doesn’t quite get away from the identification but is more accurate than ‘I am lazy’.
I could carry on all day playing with various formulations!
Ian, for hyperactive individuals like you and me [how's that for beating ones own trumpet also, disguising it with some praise? lol!], laziness is actually deciding to consciously stay off from work or doing things at a different pace or in a different way, whatever the pressure.
Good to freak out sometimes. And I’m in your brigade to feel reassured listening to inner critic putting it in sometimes perspective!
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Ian’s reply:
Sometimes I’m hyperactive
And it’s comforting to know I’m not the only one carrying around this annoying inner critic. He’s worth listening to though .. sometimes. And praise much appreciated! That’s why I write this blog!
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