An old Cherokee tale tells of a grandfather talking to his grandson. The grandfather tells his grandson,
“Son, on the inside of every person a battle is raging between two wolves. One wolf is angry, jealous, unforgiving, violent, proud and lazy. The other wolf is filled with love, kindness, nonviolence, humility, and self-control. The two wolves are constantly fighting.”
The little boy thought about it, and said, “Grandfather, which wolf is going to win?”
The grandfather smiled and said, “whichever one you feed.”
This is an old parable that I’ve read in several places and for me it has a strong and powerful message. I always have a choice about which wolf I nurture and feed – no person or circumstance can force me to choose one over the other. This choice is my responsibility alone and I can’t pass that anywhere else. When I do (who hasn’t at some time in their lives?) then I’m playing the game of aggressor or victim.
But I have a question!
What do I do with the wolf I decide not to feed (the violent one, in case you’re in any doubt)? Probably the question becomes irrelevant once I reach enlightenment and frankly, I’m not expecting that any lifetime soon, so it’s going to be an ongoing issue! That wolf is not going to die no matter how much I starve it and hungry wolves tend to be more dangerous than well fed ones!
Here’s the dilemma. If I feed it then I give it power and if I starve it then it goes underground and starts to show itself in ways I don’t enjoy.
I happen to believe that this angry, jealous, unforgiving, violent, proud and lazy wolf is trying to communicate important messages to me and has my best interests at heart. What if I don’t feed it but I do listen to it? If I can hear what it wants to say, and the positive intention behind it, then it’s going to be satisfied.
- When that lazy wolf starts to drain my energy I want to hear that as a request for some rest, a desire for some attention for myself, or maybe as a warning that things are getting unsafe and I need to withdraw for a while.
- When that angry wolf starts to howl I want to hear that as a cry for action, that someone else is doing something that’s hurting me.
You get the idea? I don’t necessarily want to react the way that wolf is urging, but I do want to hear what it’s trying to say. These are all useful messages, if I have the skill (and patience) to listen to them. The other wolf, the one filled with love, kindness, nonviolence, humility, and self-control can now take over and do its stuff!
But only if that’s the wolf I’ve been feeding.
Similar Posts:
- Violent by nature
- Top 8 Taboo Words
- Have you ever been lazy?
- Insults, nonviolence and fish
- In search of honesty
- When smacking seems the only option
Hey Ian,
Pretty interesting Google ads showed up for you on this post.
I can relate the howling used to be a real drain. But I must be getting more laid back as I age because I haven’t fed that sucker for quite a while. Keep listening until he fades away. It’s happening.
Hi Tom. I also notice the wolf gets more peaceful as I get older. Maybe I just need to give it a few more years and it’ll go quietly to sleep without having to go through the process of reaching enlightenment!
and yes .. I think I need to keep a closer eye on those Google ads. I noticed some time ago one of my posts on vegetarianism kept getting ads from the meat processing industry! I keep them because I find some ironical humour in that! I certainly don’t keep them for the money (US 1.68 in total, last I checked)
Thanks, Ian, for some timely thoughts on the two wolves. I had not heard the old Cherokee tale before, actually, and I enjoyed your insights. And yes, pretty funny about the google ads – one of them links to “Feed the Hungry”. I’ll click on it now so that you can earn big money – and keep the wolf from the door.
Ian,
Awesome article! I totally agree the two wolves are in constant conflict within our minds and bodies.
To expand on what you’re saying here, I actually believe there are more than just two “wolves” in constant conflict inside each one of us. There’s our spiritual “wolf” (noble desires), our animalistic “wolf” (body level desires), our rational “wolf”(mental level desires), and our soulful “wolf” (neutrality). At all times they spar with one another and try to gain precedence over the rest.
Our job is to learn how to become the master of them all, and keep each one in it’s rightful place in the dichotomy of desire. Otherwise there will be no harmony, and at any given time one could have precedence over the others, leading to duality. We will never be able to reach the highest states of being if we allow this to keep going on.
Hope this makes sense.
Rahul
Downstreamer .. thanks for the comment and feedback (and the big money you sent my way!). Hope you’ll be a regular visitor.
Rahul … makes perfect sense to me and I like the extra layers you bring to the wolves. I actually believe that there are even more ‘voices’ or ‘wolves’ – each looking out for us in different ways. I like the split into physical, spiritual, intellectual and emotional, though your wolves work for me as well.
I agree about mastering them to achieve harmony. First step is to understand what they’re trying to tell us. Not always easy when they’re howling at us! Many thanks for the insights.
I have an inner pack that I run with and in my pack I have all kinds of wolves. Bless them. I have strong, powerful leaders of the pack, the sick and mangy, the timid, the nurturing mother wolves, the crazy little puppies, and the adventurous adolescents all living together and trying to make their own sense of this world.
It is through Focusing that I gain an understanding of how this wolf lives in the world and what it knows of this experience.
Through NVC I connect to its living energy and needs even if it is howling.
Through both NVC & Focusing I have learned to love and embrace my inner pack of wolves and now I run with them!
I have blogged about hearing the gem in judgements: http://transformativeliving.wordpress.com/2008/07/09/embracing-judgements/
http://transformativeliving.wordpress.com/2008/02/10/judgements/
Leona. A whole pack? Must take a lot of feeding? NVC I know well, but I must have a look at focusing as I don’t know anything about it. Thanks for the comment and great to see you over here. Ian
Ian – The Cherokee story could not have come at a better time in my day… This has been a week where I let my loneliness from being separated from my family on Thanksgiving really spiral into self-pity, which pulled up other emotions that compounded it. Earlier today I made the decision to feed the other set of wolves – the ‘good’ ones… and I already feel lighter and more energized and happier. So, that story just brightened my decision even more! Thanks!