On this day in 1963, something happened that fundamentally changed the course of my life. It wasn’t something that hit the headlines, but it was something that still has repercussions to this day. In fact, this event is having an effect on you right this moment as you wouldn’t be reading these words if it hadn’t taken place.
11 November 1963 was the day on which I was born.
How To Celebrate
Last night Mona asked me how I want to celebrate my birthday.
My immediate reaction was the same I usually get in relation to my birthday; ‘uuuugggghhhh,’ together with a strong desire to hide in a corner for the whole day and hope everyone else has forgotten it. It’s not my age that’s the problem as I enjoy whatever age I am and 46 is a nice round number.
My problem is partly about celebrating. I don’t really know how to do it.
I watch others celebrate at parties and in bars. Singing, dancing and obviously having a good time. I sit there and just can’t understand it. Externalising my celebration of life is just not my way. I can speak about it, I can feel it deep inside – but expressing it in a ‘traditional’ way is not my style.
There have been times when I faked it, but that’s pretty tiring and I’d prefer to be more authentic. Christmas, weddings, other people’s birthdays, holidays, parties I can just about cope with if I’m in the right frame of mind. I can celebrate with others, though I do generally avoid random parties. I got fed up with drunken revellers demanding I enjoy myself – then dragging me onto the dance floor, trying to get me drunk or, in one horrible incident, trying to persuade me to take cocaine. NO WAY!
I prefer to celebrate quietly. Peacefully. On my own, or with those closest to me.
Still, I’ve struggled over the years to celebrate in any way on my birthday and have tried to hide it where possible.
But not this year.
My Birthday Is About – Me
I’ve long claimed my reluctance to celebrate my birthday was in respect for my grandfather who died on my 21st birthday or that it’s because it’s ‘Remembrance Day‘ or ‘Veterans’ Day’.
Frankly both are weak excuses.
Mona pointed out to me last night:
‘If you can’t appreciate the ways in which you are a gift to the world, then it’s hard to fulfil your potential. And birthdays are the one day in the year when I think you could be doing just that.’
This hit the proverbial nail on the head.
I was brought up to be modest and keep my light hidden. At times I’ve kept it so hidden I’ve actually lost sight of the fact that it’s there.
Each and every one of us is a gift to the World.
Each of us has a light inside that can shine out for the benefit of all – if we choose to let it.
10 Ways I’m A Gift To The World
This is probably the hardest list I’ve ever written. Every cell of my body is crying out,
“Don’t do it! Who are you to blow your own trumpet? You’re going to lose all your readers if you do this. It’s just not DONE!’
So I say ‘thank you’ to the helpful voices in my head … and I’m going to do this anyway.
- Three people wouldn’t exist without me … my beautiful daughters Laura (17 years), Elena (6 years) and Nameless One (- 3 months).
- My humour which has made many people laugh
- My smile which has infected many people with smiles of their own
- The simplicity of my material world which inspires several people
- My writing which has stimulated change in people
- My capacity to listen deeply which gives others the space and love they need to find themselves
- My dedication to bring peace into my own life and to share that with others
- Through my presence I’ve brought joy to the lives of many people – and Mona is one of them
- I make Athos and Balki (our 2 dogs!) wag their tail whenever I give them attention
- I tend to inspire quite intense feelings in other people (not all of them enjoyable!).
And Finally …
I had a wonderful early birthday present – my last article had an avalanche of readers (around 30,000 over two days). It came just at a moment I was again asking myself if this blog is really worth the effort I put into it. So a big thank you to all who contributed to the overwhelming success of that post. It made my day!
As it’s my birthday I’m allowed one birthday wish.
I would like to hear, in the comments or by Email the answer to the following question:
In What Ways are YOU a gift to the world?
Similar Posts:
- Remembrance day
- How are you?
- Latest economic news: Christmas bought in recent takeover activity
- What To Do With Naughty Kids
- The Miracle Of Birth
- How To Fully Enjoy Life
happy birthday and many happy returns!
)
from a romanian blogger who’s 30 days and 11 years less “experimented” than you
Happy Birthday to you Ian!
Mona is a very wise woman. Your birthday is your special day and should be celebrated! I certainly don’t see it as disrespectful to others to celebrate your birthday, like you said you wouldn’t be here if it didn’t happen.
Well done for listing out how you’re a gift to the world. I would also add you positivity and dedication to NVC are certainly gifts!
How am I a gift to the world? I’d say I’m a fantastic listener and I’ve been a shoulder for many people.
Have a super happy birthday and celebrate it in a way that is true to you!
All the best,
Sherri
Ian, Happy Birthday!
I just discovered your blog and can say that I appreciate you going forward posting your 10 gifts to the world. Nothing boastful about stating things the way they are.
My greatest gift: I’m able to teach people how to enjoy the gift of music, playing guitar and/or keyboard.
Happy birthday!! Ina ddition to everything you’ve listed here, you’re also a great friend, and you have an awesome sense of humor which makes the world a little brighter for all of us. You rock, Ian!
How am *I* a gift to this world? Simple. Just by being so awesome, the world is better because of me
Love always,
Jay
We have the same birthday! Happy Birthday and Happy Veterans Day!
I am a gift to the world by … (this is really hard for me too) … helping people find the information they need to create positive change. And in supporting Donald, my husband and best friend.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, IAN!!!!
I love this post!! And, I’ll personally never forget your birthday as I am a veteran and your birthday is a very honored a special day for me, too!
Ian, I loved how you listed the reasons you’re a gift to the world.
I applaud you and have the utmost respect for how you. I’ll never forget your email response to me about a question that came up in when I first met you. That showed your candor and the respect you have for others – which is just beautiful.
Happy birthday, my friend.
~Lori
Happy Birthday, Ian!!! YES! Your capacity to listen deeply is amazing and something that transcends physical presence.
I didn’t realize you were feeling dispirited. Don’t hesitate to let me know if I can ever do anything for you or if you just want to talk. {hug}
I am a gift to the world by accepting others and having an instinct for what’s real.
Happy birthday, Ian
As a Scorpio fellow myself I know life is not always easy for guys like us (I’m mostly making fun, I’m not that overinflated
). Seriously now, being a Scorpio makes you an agent of change, wither you want it or not. We bring transformation in people’s lives and that often comes at a price people won’t pay.
Regardless, do have fun today and during the next day. And the next day. And the next day…
Happy birthday! I hope you celebrated this wonderful day in your own way.
About your wish: it got me thinking about my own birthday which is coming up. Hopefully, I’ll be in that special frame of mind which allows me to think about myself in this unusual way.
I never thought I, of all people, could be a gift to the world. I promise I’ll share my findings!
Happy (belated) birthday, Ian!! I think this is my favorite “list post” ever, because it’s real and from the heart. I definitely consider you to be a gift to the world.
Now… how am I a gift?… Hmm… I guess because I am able to teach by example.
I’m really very grateful for all the birthday wishes. It’s not often anyone knows when it’s my birthday but it’s a little hard to avoid in the virtual world! However I’m very happy I ‘came out’ this year as it’s so touching to hear all your wishes.
And Daphne .. same birthday? You’re the first I’ve met sharing the same birthday. Same year as well?
Plus … what a wonderful present to hear how you all see your gifts to the world. I received some emails as well as the comments here and I treasure you all.
Same month and day, not the same year. I’m younger than you. Thanks again for getting your commenters to participate in this exercise. I think it was good for all of us!
That will teach me to read your blog more closely! I mean you are significantly younger than me
Happy Birthday which came 3 days late, Ian
I wish you happiness and same for the ones you love. Indeed your blog worth and I am proud to be one of your readers. It’s not a complement but simple truth 
Well, it’s finally here! 24 years ago my mum was in labor and I was making my way into this world. It must have been quite scary, but I was strong enough to do it.
I’ve been thinking about myself being a gift to the world and it’s very strange. Fortunately, Mona gave me a helping hand by saying that, if it hadn’t been for me, the world would be 6 kitties poorer.
So, here it goes:
1. My care and attention have helped 6 kittens survive
2. I contribute to the happiness of many of my close ones
3. I am eager to learn about myself and others with the help of NVC
4. I write on my blog about education and get people thinking
5. I’m trying every day to become a better, more compassionate listener
That’s it for now. And it’s quite a lot, actually. I realize now that I have a lot to offer to the world and that my continuous strive towards a deeper, more authentic communication with myself and others is very valuable. I have enormous inner resources with which I can contribute to my happiness and that of others. Just by thinking and saying that, I feel grateful and joyful and my needs for a deeper connection to myself and for self appreciation are fulfilled.
Thank you, Ian, for asking ”In What Ways are YOU a gift to the world?” !
Andreea. When I first met you I was struck by how much light there is in you.Thank you so much for coming and sharing this here .. and I hope many people will read this and be inspired by it.